Time to Think

For the last week I've not been 'feeling it' blogging wise, I haven't been inspired to write anything and I don't see much point in writing something just to say I have. I did try last week to force some inspiration by looking through some prompts. I wrote something I wasn't hugely proud of and figured I would just take a break instead. 

If only I could sit here and think...

So, for now that's what I'm going to do. The kids break up on Friday (4th April) for two weeks and I thought this would be a good chance for me to figure out what it is I want to do. I love writing and blogging but other things seem to get left behind when I'm concentrating on blogging. My book isn't any further along than it was a couple of months ago and I'm disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. The break will hopefully do me good and I can come back refreshed and have lots to talk about. Or I'll come back to say I'll be blogging less... we'll see.

A Knock

These last few days I've been finding it difficult to write so this morning I was trawling the internet for inspiration. Some people say if you're not 'feeling' it then don't force it but I think sometimes you just need to try and push past the block.

Greyscale pvc door

After a couple of hours I managed to find a prompt site and was half inspired by one of the prompts so here we go, here's what I came up with.

A knock on the door in the middle of the night is never a good thing...

I pried my eyes open wondering what the hammering was. The boom echoed through the house and I heard the door shaking in its frame. I glanced at the clock, 3am, and heaved back the covers, huffing. Three bangs again and I grabbed my dressing gown, slipped it on and ran down the stairs. I knew he’d do it again, just as soon as he said he’d be going out with friends. Another late night, him banging on the door because he couldn’t find his keys. Stumbling into the house with his arms flailing as he tried to kiss me and tell me he was sorry, again. It was getting old.

He banged on the door again and I swore, if he woke the kids up he would suffer. It took me 3 hours to get Sam to sleep. The last thing I needed now was for him to be woken up. The keys jangled as I grabbed them and turned them in the keyhole. The bracing wind blew in, sending goosebumps over my body, as I opened the door. Half asleep I stepped back with the door wide open.

“Um, Miss?”

I looked at the person standing in my doorway. The yellow hi-vis jacket stunned me and when I looked at his face my heart jumped into my throat.

“Are you Mrs Kent?” The policeman said.


“Mrs Kent, I’m afraid your husband has been involved in an incident.”

“Oh great.”

My shoulders sagged and I began cursing him under my breath. I’d have to get the kids up and go fetch him.

“What’s he done this time?”

“Um, Mrs Kent… He didn’t do anything. Earlier this evening he was stabbed and rushed to hospital.”


“I’m sorry Mrs Kent but he didn’t make it.”


My head was spinning. Did he really just say that?

It's not much but I've tried.

What do you do to try and banish the block? Do you have a trick you'd like to share with the rest of us who are struggling? Please?



Here we are again, Thursday and time for Prose for Thought. I was looking through the poems I've written for this linky yesterday and since I started I've written 8 poems and 3 short fiction pieces. I do love Prose for Thought because it trains me to be thinking about creative writing every week.

Lake and trees with blue sky

Yesterday I wrote a poem and really surprised myself by crying at some of my own writing. Not something I ever thought would happen but I guess it's all part of the writing journey. Here's the poem, I hope you like it...


Floating above, I look down
A chill throughout my bones
Blurred vision and a frown
Enter the unknown

They are sitting, dressed in white
Lillies atop my casket
Flowers surround, summery and bright
Little one holding a basket

Lines run down their faces
Tissues in sleeves and hand
They think I’m gone, no more traces
Never again will I touch that land

I did not want to leave
And have to say goodbye
Please, please, a reprieve?
Tell them it was a lie

Can’t stand the thought of them alone
Without me in their life
No one there to be a mother
No one there to be a wife

The light arrives to take me
It’s pulling my soul away
I’m searching for a way to flee?
I’m begging, I want to stay!

Goodbye my sons and wonderful man
I wish you all the best
It seems that someone had a plan
To put you to the test

I’ll be watching, just let go
Let go of the pain someday
I’m not ill, I hope you know
Someone took it all away

Safe and sound, peaceful at home
Nothing more to feel
At our house now, not the unknown
Please know that I’m all healed

Prose for Thought
Post Comment Love

iPad, Laptop or Pen & Paper?

In January 1984 the very first Mac was released, known then as the "Apple Macintosh". Looking nothing like the sleek and attractive machines they have today this Mac was available to buy for $2,495 and had a keyboard and mouse. I was three years old at the time and this would have completely passed me by.

The very first Apple Macintosh - 1984!

Fast forward thirty years and Apple is a household name, they have revolutionised the way we view technology. They have made my life far easier, I have an iPhone which holds all of my personal information. My diary, text messages, birthdays, phone calls but most importantly my blogging reminders, twitter information and internet connectivity. I am never in a place where I can't be contacted in some way. 

Growing up I always used a pen and paper to note things down. It wasn't until I was working in an office and had money coming in that I was able to buy myself a home computer and even then it was very out of date. In more recent years I haven't felt the need to use a pen very much at all. My phone has a notes app which is available on all of my devices. This means that I can be out of the house and write a note about blogging, come home and view that note on my Mac. Brilliant.

If you read this blog regularly you'll know that I have an iMac and a Macbook both of which I use, a lot. I don't feel the need to have a pen and paper at hand because I always have my phone and it has a notes app. This app allows me to view my notes on all of my devices, including the iMac. All of these machines have completely changed how I view my work. I no longer have to wonder how long I will have to wait for windows to boot up or see any strange messages popping up. I don't have to rummage in the bottom of my handbag searching for a pen, I just grab my phone. The day I began using Apple products was the day I was converted. It is like a breath of fresh air and I will never go back.

The iPad Air - look how beautiful it is!
I was talking to a friend of mine this morning about the iPad and she was telling me she didn't really know how to use it. She knew how to get onto the internet but she didn't know that if you press the home button twice a different view opens up. This view shows you all of the apps you have open at that time. This is just one of many features that Apple use to make the iPad feel intuitive. My friend said she didn't really know a lot about how to use the iPad and that got me thinking. How many mums these days have no idea about the technology their children are using on a daily basis?

I guess I'm lucky in a way because the hubby works in the industry so I am aware of all the new features and products and am able to see whether or not they would be useful. I do think it's important to know about the devices our children use and what they can actually do. This got me wondering about how many of the mums I know have the very same problem. Could I be the one to teach them? I'd have to learn along the way too but I wonder how many of those mums would appreciate another mum telling them how to use this new technology. 

Not a day goes by when I don't use the iPad, iPhone or Mac and although this is a lot of screen time I am embracing it. I would much rather understand the things that my children are using, at least then I know what is possible and what they need to be protected from. I've been toying with the idea of approaching the Head at my children's school to see if she would be interested in me holding a class for parents. Of course this would be another commitment to take time away from other stuff but I feel like this is something I could actually do, another thing to make me proud of myself.

Do you prefer pen and paper or tech? If there was a class where you could learn about technology would you attend? What kind of things would you like to learn about?

Mama and More

Worth the Pain

With the kids being off school on Monday and Tuesday I didn't think I'd get a chance to do my walk with the girls this week. Luckily I got a text late last night and we arranged to do it this morning. Feeling much better about health lately and the weight is now slowly dropping off. What I've learned so far is that even though I might feel really worn out when walking (briskly) I actually feel far better once I've had a little rest.

Morgan's Milieu | Worth the Pain: Daytona Beach, the sea rolling in.
I wish I could walk at Daytona Beach, Florida every day!

Seeing as I've been yammering on about fitness and health just lately I thought it appropriate for this week's #Prose4T. This is pretty much how I feel while, and after, walking.

Worth the Pain

Legs like jelly and chest burn
Strap up the knee and rest?
Arms all heavy and pain earned
Pushing to the crest

Reach the top and almost scream
Body full of aches
Red hot skin emitting steam
Not long before it breaks

Keep the pace but downhill now
Faster legs will go
Pumping hard onto the ground
Can't let the torment show

Get to the end and smile wide
Filled with relief
Time to sit on the backside
Glad that that was brief

Knee wrapped up and resting too
Water in a glass
Close my eyes and catch a few
Wait for it to pass

Energy flows through the vein
Filling me with fire
Aches all gone and no more pain
Feel-good factor acquired

Prose for Thought
Post Comment Love

Normality Restored

Boys back at school and me back in my office can mean only one thing, normality has resumed in the Prince residence. The school has been fixed and I couldn't be happier that they are back today, they've been driving me mad! I have been lucky in that the sun was shining on both Monday and Tuesday which meant they could play in the garden (which LP loved). We've been for a couple of walks too, through countryside and muddy fields but it was nice to be outside and the kids loved exploring.

I was slightly disappointed (ok, more than slightly) on Monday when I took the boys to school only to find it was closed. I'd been spending the whole weekend thinking about my book and got myself all excited about starting work on it properly. I felt like I'd had christmas morning snatched away from me, I was not a happy bunny. But then that's what being a mum is all about, adjusting to changing situations, constantly.

Yesterday afternoon I got a little research done and managed to make lots of new notes to help. I really got into the swing of it and it made me realise I'd missed a few things in the story which need to be put in at the appropriate moment. I'm looking forward to making those changes. 

Speaking of changes... My recent new-found love of exercise and having remembered how much I love writing has instigated a need in me. A need to change. At the moment I feel okay in myself, not unhealthy or unfit but just, I think I could do better. Also I've been growing my hair for about two years and it's the longest it's ever been thanks to a fantastic hairdresser who seems to be able to work wonders with my thick hair. But, like I said, I'm ready for a change so I'm having it cut short. A bob style I think. I'm very lucky that my wonderful hairdresser knows just what to do and has a plan (there's those plans again!).

I've also begun a new morning routine in which I moisturise my face, not something I've ever considered doing in the past because time seemed so short. Lately I've noticed dry skin appearing on my nose and lots of itching so I figured it's time. I'm not getting any younger after all. I love the idea of taking care of myself in all areas and I'm now on that road. I've already started looking after my body, eating more healthily and doing exercise, and I think if I use my motivation to take care of other things too I may finally be happy with myself. A goal I've been working towards for about 20 years.

I'm almost there and with a few less pounds and fewer inches I think I'd be really happy. Since having the boys I haven't spent much time thinking about myself but now that they're in school every day (mostly) and can entertain themselves I find more time for me. I want to use that time well, ensuring I write, exercise and look after myself. This body has got to last me for a long time and I don't intend sitting on my bottom when I'm 70 watching daytime TV. I want to be one of those ladies that get out into the world and enjoy life. After all you only have one don't you?

Do you ever think about later in life? What do you imagine yourself doing when in your 70's?


For Amanda - Prose for Thursday & World Book Day

How apt that this week's #Prose4T should land on World Book Day. I always look forward to this day (not including finding outfits for the boys of course) because it gives us all a chance to share the great books we are reading or have read. It gets the word out there for the author and we get the chance to take in a new tale.

My poem this week has been brewing for a while and yesterday I had to stop the washing up I was doing in order to jot down a few words. I was terrified they would disappear from my mind before I had the chance to get to the computer. The wonders of being a writer eh?

With Mother's Day coming up at the end of this month (May in America) I've been thinking a lot about being a mother, what it entails and the people that I look up to. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I realised how hard it can be at times and how much stress my step-mother must've had to go through when I was a teenager. I wrote about it last year, which you can read here. My poem this week is for my step-mother and it's the first time I've actually written anything intending it to be 'for' someone, so here goes...

For Amanda

Amanda was her name
Mandy we were told
My dad's new girlfriend, my heart aflame
Anger I would hold

Resentment and hostility
Were what I saved for you
My dad was ours, not yours to be
Hatred shining through

Family was ripped apart
Tore open my soul
I had an aching heart
A great gaping hole

Through years and tears I have seen
Your loving kindness every day
You've watched me grow and always been
A mother for me in every way

You raised me as your daughter
Taught me how to be
A loving mother just like you oughta
Precious you are to me

Every argument gave me
An example of how to act
Anger gone I'm now free
I want you to hear the fact

I look up to you, I'll always be
Amazed at how you coped
I was awful to you, shamelessly
I'll make it up, I hope

Love and care, you've now become
A part of me and mine
I'm thankful that you are my mum
And thanks to you we're fine

I don't think any words can say how grateful I am to my step-mum. Writing is the only way I can express it and even then I can't do it justice.

In aid of World Book Day I'm hosting a giveaway today on twitter. If you answer my question you could be in with a chance of nabbing yourself a copy of When I was Small by Sara O'Leary. In the book a mother talks to her son about when she was small, telling him about all of her adventures. This is something I often do with LP! The hashtag is #WorldBookDayGiveaway and I hope you'll hop over and give it a peek.

Prose for Thought

Hello Motivation

Right now I'm sat at my desk, Mocha Latte sitting next to me, with Sugarland playing on iTunes as I type. The sun is shining in through the window, the scent of lavender lingering throughout the house and I couldn't be happier. This is the brightest and most motivated I've felt for a while and I'm taking full advantage.

I'm not sure what has caused this brighter mood. It could be the brisk walk (almost run) I went on with friends this morning. It could be the fact that the hubby and I have started our month long abstention of alcohol. It could be the plan to stick to a healthy diet, restricting chocolate and sweets. Or it could just be that I'm happy. The sun is out, spring is on the way and everything seems like it's going well. 

Routine has always been good for me, I tend to thrive when I have a plan. It doesn't matter if it's a month-long plan or a ten year plan, as long as I have a goal in mind. At the moment I have various plans and goals, including weight loss and writing more. This means that I am motivated to stick to rules and can't wait to reap the rewards of my hard work.

This feeling has been creeping up on me over the last few months. I've been spending 20 minutes a day (excluding weekends) on the exercise bike and each time I finished I felt good. The other day I was chatting to a friend in the school playground and she happened to mention that she goes walking every week and asked if I wanted to join her. Until now this is not something I would've considered doing, I mean what if she walks really fast and I can't keep up? Well, I went and did keep up at least some of the way.

I never enjoyed exercise, it was always a chore necessary to lose weight. I hated the idea of getting on the exercise bike or striding on the treadmill for half-an-hour and would much rather have spent time at the computer or sat on my jelly-butt watching TV. After spending a long time losing weight and actually reaching my weight loss target I seem to have found an enjoyment of exercise. Shocking, I know. Whenever I do exercise of any kind I always feel great afterwards. I don't mean jump-and-fist-punch-the-air great, I mean... motivated, energised but completely and utterly wiped out. It's a strange exhilarating feeling being so tired that you think your legs might actually drop off.

Another friend mentioned she goes to a yoga class and I wondered if that would be fun too. I used to do yoga on the Wii Fit a few years ago and always enjoyed it. I know a class will be very different but I've decided to give it a go. Why not right? Even if it only helps me be a little more limber then it's helping. I have my outfit ready and can't wait to try out this class, it's going to be fun if nothing else.

Where other plans are concerned I have a routine sorted, I can spend some of my time writing this blog and boring you fine people and some of it sorting out my novel. The timetable in my head is helping me get everything done, including the cleaning, ironing and washing. I don't think anything can happen that will turn those things into enjoyable tasks but having the motivation to get on with it helps.

I'm not the type of person that springs out of bed in a morning, eager for the day to start. I'm not a fitness freak or super skinny. I'm a mum and a writer. I've found a love/like for exercise, am enjoying being less overweight than before and I'm embracing this stay-at-home thing. I have time for the things I love, time to do cleaning and time to spend with my boys. Life is good and I hope this bright feeling continues.

Do you spring out of bed in a morning or are you like me and need that extra something to spur your motivation?

Mama and More