Being more YOU

Today I was going to write a post about getting a lie-in in a morning. About how being a mum is tough and you should give yourself time to chill out. It's actually National Bed Month this month so it would be the perfect time to encourage you to get that lie-in. But I wasn't feeling it. I mean let's face it, if you have kids there's very little chance of you getting a lie-in unless the kids aren't home. I'm rarely in bed after 7:30am and that's classed as a lie-in! Instead I wanted to talk to you about being more YOU, allowing yourself to be the real you rather than that person you put out there everyday hoping that you fit in somewhere.

Way back when...

Every day I feel like I'm getting to know myself more and more, and it makes me happy. But it hasn't always been this way. There was once a time when I felt so completely overwhelmed by everything that I put on a facade, a mask, to fit in wherever I was. I would smile and laugh when I knew I was meant to but I never really felt happy. I never let "me" out because I was afraid of the reaction I would get.

Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.

Helen Keller

I am an introvert. Very much so. I abhor nights out "with the girls", the thought of going out clubbing makes me shudder, even the idea that Hubby and I may get a chance to go out at a weekend doesn't fill me with joy - I'd much rather spend the evening at home doing what we both love - watching movies. I don't like being around lots of people at once, I don't like loud places, and I especially don't like strangers. Whenever we go into Nottingham for a shopping trip, or head to a family party, I breathe a sigh of relief when we get home. I'm drained by the effort. I feel that other people zap my energy and it takes a lot of alone time to get it back.

Being More You | Being an introvert doesn't mean you can't have friends.
I like to be by myself but that doesn't mean I don't want friends.

Okay, so I know I'm sounding like a bit of a hermit. But I'm being honest. That's me. I would much rather spend the day in my little office listening to music as I type away on the keyboard than heading out to a conference or even a meet up in town with friends. As I type I am at my happiest, the Hubby is downstairs working, the boys are at school, and I am in my little bubble.

Getting out there

Even though I want to spend every day in my room I don't want to be friend-less. I want friends. I want people to understand me. I want someone to say "You know what? ME TOO!". And that's why I'm writing this post - to be more "me" and let you know that it's okay to want to be on your own at the same time as wanting friends.

I have always held myself back, I don't reach out to people and then I wonder why I don't have many friends. It's obvious really isn't it?

Which is why I've started going to more effort, chatting online, putting myself out there more. Being honest. I don't have to put on a facade, but I do have to try. I do have to think about other people, and I do need to be nice to others. Not that I'm nasty to others but I don't generally go to much effort. 

It's the connecting with people that always scares me. I was never any good at making friends so connecting, especially online, feels more difficult. But I'm trying, I'm reaching out online, answering peoples questions and putting in more effort. I've realised I want the connections, I want friends, and I want to be able to help others.

Being more YOU

The point of this post is to help you see that you can be honest and still have friends. You can be you, you just need to be brave enough to do it. Whether you're a stay-at-home mum to school aged kids (like me), a working mum with babies, or not even a mum at all, being genuine with people and reaching out as the person you are will help them (and you) see you have something in common.

A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.

Yoko Ono

I recently interacted with people in a Facebook group, it's a group I've been a part of for a long time but never really spent any time in. I didn't think I would have anything in common with anyone. But over the weekend I spent some time responding to comments and chatting to other women in the group. And you'll never guess what happened? I made some new friends! Shocking right? All it took was for me to be honest and write about my opinions and people are suddenly saying they agree with me, and that they wish we'd met ages ago! It's so lovely to be able to connect with people you actually have something in common with, and even when you have kids of different ages, or your personal circumstances are different, there's still things you can agree on or have in common. 

Being More You | Show people who you really are!
Me enjoying chill out time with the Ice Gator at Blizzard Beach, Walt Disney World.

While it may be scary putting yourself out there, or reaching out to people, it can make such a difference. Being honest with the world and saying "this is me" is the only way you'll make genuine connections, and that's what we're all after in the end isn't it?

Being More You | Put yourself out there and you may find new friends!

I hope that in some way this post has helped you, whether that's to just nod along or give you the confidence to put yourself out there. And if it did give you the confidence to put yourself out there stop by Facebook and say hi!

Do you hide behind a facade or are you being more YOU?

If you liked this post you'll enjoy Stay-at-home mums - why we shouldn't be ashamed or if you're looking for ways to learn about yourself check out Take time to do something new for you.

Don't forget to stop by Facebook and let me know how you're putting yourself out there.

And you can grab the Organised Mama Pack to help you get organised so you have more time for you.