Whether you've just given birth to your first son or you have a toddler running around your house without that nappy on I can imagine you wondering what it's like being a mum with boys. Being a mum of two boys, aged 10 and 14, you could say I have a little experience in this area. There are ups and downs, highs and lows, so here's what it's like being a mum with boys.
Be prepared for being a mum with boys
- Mess. All the toys. All the blankets. Every single thing they own. It will all get pulled out of boxes and poured onto the floor wherever they go. I've had a lounge carpet filled with Lego, building blocks, clothes, and more. My eldest used to line up his dinosaurs in one long line, the same with toy cars, and my youngest? He liked piles. Piles and piles of toys so that he could rummage through it all or spread the pile as wide and as far as it would go so he could see everything. But it's not just the toys. Even at 10 years old, and having been told about a billion(!) times LP still leaves clothes on the floor wherever he goes, and BP, at 14, leaves crumbs wherever he goes. As a mum with boys you need to be prepared for the mess!
Dinosaurs - check. Animals - check. Blanket - check.
- Toilet issues. When you're potty training you're prepared for pee on the floor. You expect there'll be accidents and for the most part it doesn't bother you. What you're not prepared for (or I wasn't anyway) is pee on the floor forever more. You have no idea how many times I go into the bathroom and get a wet sock because there's pee on the floor. And not just that, but pee on the seat too. It is one of those things that will always be there, whether they're 5 or 25. I repeatedly tell my boys to put the seat up and to pee into the bowl, but of course being a mum with boys my words go unheard. Or at least that's how it feels. No matter how many times I say it, I still leave the bathroom with a wet sock! I love Rita Templeton's post on this over on Scary Mommy - 10 things you'll learn when you're a mom to boys.
To wake up to the sound of my son saying 'mama, mama!' It's the best sound ever.
Miranda Kerr
- All the laundry. My washing machine is always running. I've often wondered if I'm just washing clean clothes because as soon as I have washed and ironed something it ends up back in the laundry basket. Most of the time I think they just put the clothes into the basket without wearing them. My boys' bedroom floors are filled with clothes most days. When they're deciding what to wear and pull clothes from their wardrobe, if they decide to not wear something it ends up on the floor. When they get undressed at the end of the day the clothes get thrown onto the floor. My youngest throws clothes on the floor wherever he goes. I've found pants pushed down the side of his bed, socks behind his bedroom door, and clothes stuffed into a basket filled with dress-up clothes. It's a never-ending battle.
A sight that greeted me in my youngest's bedroom recently.
- Safety. It's a constant concern. When my eldest was a toddler we had numerous visits to hospital with bumped heads. I lost count of the number of times I was called to school because he'd had a fall. One time they even had to take us to hospital because I was so worried and shocked that I couldn't drive. He was fine - but the shock really bothered me. And the funny thing is my eldest is the careful one! When my youngest was born I was prepared for more - but I had no idea the kind of things he would want to do. LP loves playing football, he enjoys climbing, and being outdoors. He's such an outdoorsy boy and I am constantly on edge. He hasn't had as many accidents as BP - so far - but he is definitely more of a dare-devil. I'm not sure how long my nerves will hold out!
- Food. You need to have a stocked cupboard ALL THE TIME when you're a mum with boys. They eat constantly. When they come in from school they want a snack. After dinner they want something sweet. Mid-morning means mid-morning snack. If they've been outside playing they'll come in and ask for something to eat. And not just that - but as they grow they'll want to eat more! BP, now much taller than me, eats much more than me too. He likes a lot of food and I've found myself giving him more than me when I'm dishing up dinner. He has bigger meals when we go to fast-food places and at restaurants he no longer eats from the kids' menu. I am definitely starting to spend more on the weekly shopping, and my youngest is still only 10 years old - I daren't think about when he's older.
- Smell. This doesn't usually start until they hit the tween years - but it soon escalates. I hate to say it, but entering my teen's bedroom is not an experience I enjoy. In fact I often hold my breath hoping to not have to breathe! My youngest has just started to be a bit smelly after playing football or being outside for a while. And his bedroom is heading the same way as his brother's. Unfortunately there's not a lot I can do about the smell - it's just them growing up - so I open the windows when I can and fill the room with air fresheners.
Fill the room with the scent of flowers!
- Showering. This goes hand in hand with the smell. Reminding my boys to shower is becoming quite a pain. I never realised how much of an issue it would be when I became a mum. But believe me, when you're a mum with boys you will constantly have to remind your boys to have a shower. My eldest is the worst - it's like I've told him there's no internet for the rest of the month. He stomps about, grunts, and hopes I don't tell him to wash his hair - which I do more often than he'd like. LP isn't too bad, he asks to be reminded to have a shower when he's been at his football club and more often than not will just have a shower in a morning. I'm hoping this continues, because with everything else entailed in being a mum with boys making the shower reminders a little easier would be a welcome relief.
Being a mum with boys isn't all bad!
- All the love. If there's one thing that being a mum with boys has taught me, it's to get used to being cuddled, hugged, sat on, and loved. Because boys love their mums. They love others too, but mum is their world. Even at 10 when LP hurts himself he wants a hug from me, and when BP is feeling down I know that I can hug him and make him feel a little better.
- Gaming. Now I know this only works if you're a gamer yourself, but why wouldn't you be? Anyway, boys love games, and I don't just mean console games. We play board games all the time, most weekends we'll play a board game of some sort. Of course the console games are useful too - because it means you can get stuff done while they play!
Gaming - I never thought I'd use it as a distraction tool!
- Toys. Yes, I mentioned toys above but there are loads of interesting toys you get to play with when you're a mum with boys. From Lego and toy cars, to big Batman caves and figures, there are tons of toys you can enjoy playing with, with them. You get to see them creating things out of Lego, you get to watch them be creative in their play, and you get to help them learn all the car types when playing with their toy cars.
- Protection. Whether you've fallen in the house or you're older and need some help opening a bottle, your boys will help you. They'll protect you from falling by holding you up, and they'll look after you. At 10 and 15 my boys are already taking care of me in ways I hadn't anticipated. Like BP, who is much taller than me, can grab things from the top shelf in the supermarket that I just wouldn't be able to reach. Or LP who, when I'm cooking in the kitchen, comes to ask if he can help in any way. I know I'll be safe with my boys around.
To be a mother of a son is one of the most important things you can do to change the world. Raise them to respect women, raise them to stand up for others, raise them to be kind.
Shannon L Alder
- Science. Okay so this might go for girls too but being a mum with just boys I don't have any experience with girls. But my boys are scientists in the making. They love talking about science and discussing the different aspects. I'm not a scientist but have always found space really interesting, so we talk about it a lot. The Hubby is an intelligent man and read all sorts of stuff, and always knows interesting facts about science so he's always their go-to man when they want to talk. I love that we can talk about something they enjoy.
- Long conversations. As the boys get older we're having longer conversations about more in-depth topics. Like science, they love discussing things and giving us their opinions about things. LP has been doing science experiments in school and loves talking about what he learned. And when BP gets talking about something he likes - like programming - you can't shut him up! I love that we can talk to our boys about all sorts of topics and they listen (when they're not being typical teens/tweens). We have long conversations during our many walks and cover a range of topics.
- Bond with dad. I always had a strained relationship with my birth mother, and so when it came to my children I made an effort to understand what they're going through. I don't want our relationship to be strained. But at the same time I don't want their relationship with their dad to be this way either. I needn't have worried because the bond between father and son is amazing. For my boys there are particular things that show it. For LP it's bike riding, he loves to go on long bike rides with his dad. Not to mention that he'll climb on his dad's knee in a morning and just cuddle for a while. And at 10 years old I think it's pretty impressive that he'll still do this. BP likes programming, like I said above, and his dad is programmer. They can spend hours discussing BP's latest project or going through some troubles he's having. It's great to see them chatting and bonding.
I'm sure that some of these things are the same for mums with girls, but as a mum with boys I don't have any experience in that department. As another mum with boys I do love Geraldine's take on it, and in this post she explains Why I love being a mum of boys. Being a mum with boys is both good and bad but the good far outweighs the bad, even if it doesn't look like it on paper!
Being a mum with boys is amazing in so many ways, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
How many things in the list have you experienced?
Get your boys to be creative, or just enjoy some puzzles, in the Fun with AniPals activity book!
