Your weight doesn't determine who you are

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During my adult life my weight has ranged from 9st 12lbs to 14st 8lbs, I have worn clothes size 10 up to size 18, but what I'm realising as I get older (I'll be 36 in January) is that my weight doesn't define me.

For a very long time I have battled with my weight, I always felt like people judged me when I was heavier. I'd dress in baggy clothes which made me look much bigger than I was and I'd give up on trying to look good. Being a busy mum didn't help with the motivation either, I figured there was no point in trying when I was going to school and back and never went anywhere else. Add to that reading glossy fashion magazines and my self-esteem was low.

A few years ago I decided it was time to change and I dedicated all my spare time to losing weight. I started by walking with friends after school drop-off but when my walking partner got a job I turned to my treadmill. I walked/ran 2 miles every week day and over the course of a couple of years I lost a lot of weight eventually reaching 9st 12lbs.



I LOVED it. Cue shopping sprees where I bought beautiful and expensive dresses that I only just fit in to and shoes with high heels. I was happy that all my hard work had paid off. 

But...

After coming home from our Florida trip I didn't do any more running. I was tired, I needed a break, and I wanted to concentrate on my blog. As a result the weight piled back on again and right now I'm almost back to where I was when I started. I don't run, I barely walk anywhere, I don't get much exercise at all.



While I know that losing weight will mean I am healthier dedicating the time required in order to lose the weight is harder to justify right now.


Priorities


Every day I get out of bed at around 6:15am, I spend the morning making breakfasts and cleaning until I drop off LP at school. Some days it's straight to the supermarket from school and that can take up to 2 hours. By the time I get home and have put the shopping away it's almost lunch time. I'll head into my office and do an hour's work on the computer before heading back downstairs to do lunch. An hour for lunch, which is spent chatting to the Hubby while eating a healthy meal. In the afternoon I go back into my office and get done what I can before school pickup at 3:15pm. 

Arriving home after school I have to get back to the household chores and sorting out dinner. By the time we've all eaten dinner and chatted for a while it's almost LP's bedtime. After 7:30pm my time is my own and I could use this time to do exercise, but if I did that I wouldn't get to sit with the Hubby while we enjoy our TV shows. For me it's not about the TV, it's about spending time with my husband.  We spend a few hours every day sitting next to one another, chatting or watching our favourite shows, and we both enjoy that time. Taking time out to do exercise means taking time away from the Hubby and I'm not willing to give up that time.



Perhaps when the boys are older, when they get themselves up in a morning, make themselves breakfast and get off to school/university without being nagged, then I might take the time in a morning to do exercise. 


Confidence


The silly thing is I can still look good even though I'm overweight. I CAN wear nice clothes, I CAN be stylish, and I CAN enjoy fashion. Whether I'm referred to as "fat", "overweight", or "plus-size" I don't care.

I am me. 



I am me at 9st 12lbs and I am me at 14st 8lbs (there's just more of me to love!), nothing will change who I am. I like watching movies and TV series, I like playing board games with my boys, I like writing this blog, and I like food. I refuse to feel bad for fancying a chocolate bar or a cream cake. 

And you should too.


Cream cakes are yummy. Chocolate is yummy. And you know what? They don't change who you are. You may be slightly overweight, fat, or plus size, but your weight does not determine who you are - YOU do. 



You can enjoy your life the way YOU choose, whether you like movies, dancing, or even running. 

You can wear the clothes you love thanks to awesome sites like Simply Be and Evans and you can look just as good (if not better!) as those thin supermodels.

Confidence looks great on everyone so go out there wearing your favourite outfit, strut your stuff, and be proud of who you are.

24 comments:

  1. Good for you Morgan, I admire you. I've felt like this too at times when I've gotten fed up of dieting, but unfortunately my Anxieties creep back in and the nagging voices in my head that tell me I should be slimmer (not to mention the nurse registrar who told me this week I need to watch my BMi as much bigger and I won't be allowed on my pill anymore) so I find it hard to step off the merry go round. I really do hate how much importance we all base on our size though, as you are totally right, it shouldn't define us! Xx

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    1. Thanks Caroline. I still get those nagging voices, it's difficult to silence them completely, but I feel it's important to accept who we are regardless of our weight. xx

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  2. I couldnt agree more with this. I hate body shaming and anyone who does it. We are who we are and as you say it does not define us! #PoCoLo

    www.sparklesatmidnight.com

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  3. Well said! We should never let our weight define us. I recently lost a fair amount of weight and was terrified of putting it back on, until I realised that the only person who would care, or probably even notice, would be me. I'm the same person whether I'm 20 lbs heavier or 20 lbs lighter. #PoCoLo

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  4. Good for you. I have battled for years. 13 years ago I put on a lot of weight and I hated it. I lost a lot by walking and then shortly after I got married I noticed I was gaining again and quickly did something about it. I've never got back down to that since having Ethan but I do think I've reached steady weight. I can put a couple of pounds on but I can lose them in a couple of weeks. I would love to be able to say I'm completely happy but I know that will never be the case. I will always have demons when it comes to weight. I don't ever remember not being this way. It's never been bad enough to cause serious issues but some day it would be nice to not care. So for that reason alone, good for you. #pocolo

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    1. Thanks Jaki, having magazines and newspapers constantly parade super skinny and beautiful models (all airbrushed of course!) in front of us it's hard to think we're anything but ugly and fat. But I refuse to let all that stuff get to me anymore, we are who we are and weight is just another number. xx

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  5. I love this post...
    I used to diet a lot and then a few years ago I realised I was obsessed with how I looked. I was never happy....I stopped caring about my weight and it's the happiest I've been!
    You look fabulous by the way!
    #PoCoLo

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    1. Thanks Kim, that's lovely of you to say. That last photo was taken a few months ago and I've gained more since then but to be honest I'm happy and I'll always be stylish so I'm not hugely bothered about my weight (unless it starts to cause problems of course). Forgetting about the stigma of weight and being who you are is the only way to be truly happy. xx

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  6. Well said. It's not our appearance that determines our worth. All that matters is that you're comfortable in your own skin. #PoCoLo

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  7. Very well said. I have just got back into exercise again and I'm enjoying to an extent but I'm not overdoing it and I'm certainly not going to diet, life is too short to feel that miserable (and believe me I am MISERABLE when I need chocolate but try to deny myself). I remember the last time I lost loads of weight (for my wedding 13 years ago), despite reaching my goal weight I still thought I was fat and was really self-conscious, I look back at those pictures now and I don't understand it as was super skinny. I don't think women are ever happy with their weight and thats really sad, we are definitely more than our dress size!
    #PoCoLo

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    1. I think we tend to see something different to everyone else. Whenever I tell anyone how much I weigh they're really surprised and say I don't look "fat".
      It's all about how you carry yourself, how confident you are.

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  8. as long as i'm healthy my weight doesn't bother me, on occasion when i get dressed up, i wish i had a flatter stomach, but then that's my choice not to exercise and eat what i want, you're right, I often say to hubby the effort I'd have to put into losing and maintaining weight to have a flat tummy would mean i'd be sacrificing time for doing other things that i just can't justify giving up, so wobbly belly and strong knickers is is then

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    1. Haha, here's to strong knickers Suzanne! ;)

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  9. Good for you and you clearly know that you can do it as you've already managed to lose. It's so hard, harder s we get older and can't get away with things. I'm the heaviest I've ever been at the moment and I'm mid changing that. Because I want to and not because I have to. It's all about what's comfortable isn't it. I absolutely adore walking though and yoga which are a little more gentle. I also love eating and Prosecco so the true me will always out! And you look fab. Thanks for hosting #PoCoLo

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    1. Yes to walking and yoga, when I lost all my weight that's what I did. I loved yoga and attended a class once a week. Unfortunately the class got cancelled and I never found a replacement. :( I like walking too, and while I don't do it just for the exercise anymore I do enjoy a lovely walk with my boys on occasion.
      Thanks hun. xx

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  10. Good for you. If exercise fits into your routine then yay, but if not then I agree with you, it's about priorities and not giving a stuff to what anyone says. I think we all think we could/should do a little more (of everything) but there's only so much time in a day and living should be about living.

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    1. Definitely! I won't give up the family time for anything. x

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  11. Hi Morgan, well said! I love your honesty. You are absolutely right that our weight does not make us who we are and taking the time to look good regardless of our weight is what makes us shine that little bit more.

    Exercising when we have young families is not always easy, but families grow and things change. One day, when the time is right for you, you will have the time to exercise.

    Be happy! Be you!

    #PoCoLo

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    1. You're right Debbie, maybe I will turn to the exercise when the boys are older and I don't need to look after them as much as I do now. Only time will tell.
      Thanks. xx

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  12. So very true Hun, Good for you!
    We are who we are regardless of our size. You look fab by the way! :) xx #PoCoLo

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    1. Thanks hun, lovely of you to say so! xx

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