Sometimes it SUCKS being a woman!

/

/ by
It begins at age 10 or 11 - your body starts to change; hormones cause havoc, boobs grow, and BAM!

You’re a woman.


Just like that.
And it's not as if it happens nicely either. 


How do you know you're finally a woman?


You start bleeding.
From your genitals.

Nice.


It’s probably the most scary thing to happen in your life so far and yet your mum, grandmother, and every other woman you know is congratulating you on becoming “one of us”.

Cue claps, cheering, a party even...
Or not.

From now on that bleeding will return EVERY MONTH! That's right girls, every month at the same glorious time (or there abouts) your genitals will bleed. Oh what fun!

To add insult to injury you’re moody just before the bleeding starts thanks to those lovely hormones. You cry more than usual, you're snappy, and you HATE everyone but imagine everyone hates you. It’s such a magical time

As the years pass by you learn to live with the moods and the bleeding, it’s part of who you are. Every month you prepare and stock up on chocolate and wine (and other womanly essentials), every month you sit in agony as your insides are squished in a vice.



Then one day the bleeding doesn’t come.


You think it’s just late and continue with your day but when there's still no bleeding a week later you begin to wonder if it has happened. Are you pregnant?

You scramble for the test, pee, and wait…

You’re pregnant!


Whether by choice or accident you’re going to deal with many more changes to your body. You'll gain weight, your boobs will get bigger (again!), and your tummy will stretch. All these things you can see, but there's so much more going on inside.

Even before baby is born you're preparing for its arrival. You worry about the baby's health, you fret over which nappies to use, you're scared that your baby won't like you, and you're terrified of not being able to cope with it all. Your emotions are all over the place, one minute you're happy and the next you're crying for no apparent reason. 

Despite all that, again you learn to live with it and concentrate on preparing for the new arrival. This time it’s not chocolate and wine but nappies and baby wipes that you stock up on. 

The baby arrives and you’re thrust into the world of parenthood


Nothing could’ve prepared you for this! 


No one told you the poop could explode from the nappy! 
Nobody warned you about a boys’ ability to pee ALL OVER YOU while you’re changing his nappy. 


Nobody said anything about forgetting who you are.



You dedicate yourself to raising your child. You spend all of your time feeding, changing, and playing with your baby. You are a mum. People ask about the baby, they talk to you about nappies and relay their horror stories of being first-time parents. 


They don’t ask about YOU.
They don’t talk to you about non-parenting things.
They have forgotten you're you.


As a result you lose yourself
You forget the person you were before you had the baby, you are just baby’s mum. By the time baby starts school you still haven't managed to find yourself. 

You try to raise your child knowing right from wrong, you teach him about chores and responsibilities. He grows into a lovely child (for the most part) and you’re proud to be his mum.

But then the “baby” starts answering back, and all of a sudden you're EVIL mum.

It’s your fault that he lost his school shoes (even though you told him to put them away).
It’s your fault he hasn’t done his homework (even though you reminded him lots of times).
It’s all your fault


This is the stage of parenting I'm at, I am Evil Mum and my son hates me most of the time. There is not a thing I can do to change that.

Why?
Because he’s 12.





It turns out boys get hormones too.

But now I’m the one that has to be understanding because I’ve been through it. I’m the one who shouldn’t shout when he’s having a tantrum. I’m the one who should treat him delicately because it’s “just his hormones”. 

I’m sorry but no one did that for me.

In the 26 years that I’ve had to deal with the monthly cycle no one has ever given me a break “because of the hormones”. Instead they laugh when I get emotional (it's funny to see someone cry right?), they think I’m being unreasonable when the anger gets the better of me, and they make no allowances for my insides being gripped by a vice for a whole week. 

Okay, so I’m the adult, I know this. But once, just once, I’d like someone to say to me


“I'm so sorry you're in pain. Why don't you snuggle under a blanket on the sofa and have some chocolate.”




This post appeared first on meetothermums.com

36 comments:

  1. As a mum of a twelve year old, I hear you! We have been lucky so far that this attitude isn't very often, but I can see the hormones are brewing and I can only imagine how hard it's going to get! As for us, yes it would be lovely to snuggle on the sofa and eat some chocolate, I dream about those moments! #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hope you get that snuggle on the sofa soon hun! xx

      Delete
  2. Not just 12 year old boys unfortunately. Include all teenage girls in this. Can't wait till this phase is well and truly over.
    Ps - menopause not fun either

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I'm sure it's tough with girls too, more so I imagine as they're going through the same thing! Eek, not looking forward to menopause. :|

      Delete
  3. Periods and being a woman are things i've never identified with as a part of forming my identity, in fact the only time i've questioned 'me' is when I became an expat. My youngest hit his teens as an expat and middle child became an expat half way through his teens. Eldest boy probably needed more support than we gave him because we just thought this is what they all do, until 2nd eldest sailed through with relatively no issues, so difficult for us to know what was what, other than they are all adults now, still alive, great futures now and ahead of them and more importantly no one killed one another. You just get on with it and in time it becomes a distant memory

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, you do just get on with it. We have to! ;)

      Delete
  4. I love this. We really do put up with some crap don't we?! I swear my hormones haven't settled down since I had little legs and three weeks out of four I'm all over the place. I should go get it checked out really. Damn hormones. The idea of that blanket & chocolate sounds heavenly. I might put my order in for next time! :) #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh goodness - 3 out of 4?! Yes you should get it checked out hun! I had that a long time ago and it really annoyed me. In the end I found out it was because of the pill and I switched to the copper coil. Since then things are much better and I just have the one week. Go get checked!!! And I hope you get that blanket and chocolate. xxx

      Delete
  5. Oh Morgan I am so with you! It is so hard being a mum and dealing with your own hormones and then dealing with your kids' too. My daughter bemoans her period every month and says it's unfair now she has this forever! I suppose when you are 10 when it started that is most of your life! My son did moody and now is delightful (@17 almost 18) a long wait but it's worth it! Oh and I am reading Marion Glucks book "It Must Be My Hormones" - why because it's the menopause! EEk. #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eek indeed! So I have just 5 or 6 years to wait before BP is delightful... I don't know that I'll last that long! hehe. And even then it'll be LP's turn to be a tween. Oh goodness. Like I said, where's that chocolate?! ;)

      Delete
  6. It is so hard isn't it...
    I have solved the problem of periods. I rarely have them with having the contraceptive implant. I do however have the mood swings. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha, yes the mood swings are fun aren't they!? I'd prefer not to have them too but any other contraception involves hormones being pumped into my body and they make me crazy so I won't do it. I've had to switch from the pill to the copper coil, but since I did things are much better than they were.

      Delete
  7. Speaking from a guys point of view, which tends to get vilified not just by women by some men as well. I have to say my wife has changed a little bit since having kids. Her monthly cycle was always spot on and predictable. Since having our boys it is can be late, heavier then usual and she is grumpier then usual as well. Not looking forward to our boys teenage years. That will be fun, Not! #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha nope it won't be much fun Markus, but a little support from you will do her wonders! While I get a little crazy during that time of the month it is always lovely when the Hubby is nice to me, even if it's just a hug when I'm feeling low it makes a huge difference. :)
      Thanks for stopping by. xx

      Delete
  8. It gets worse - wait for 'the change.' #Pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh... awesome. ;)
      Thanks for stopping by Clare. x

      Delete
  9. I think we all get where you're coming from. My son is only 7 but already the arguments have started and every now and then I'm told he hates me and the worst person in the whole world. Thankfully he's still young and will come and apologise after he's had a good cry over whatever injustice I have brought on him. I agree it would be so nice to be offered a blanket and some chocolate once in a while x
    #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It only gets worse I'm afraid, there's more arguments and less apologising. It kind of sucks. But as long as you've got a supportive Hubby around it'll all be okay in the end. (I hope!) :)

      Delete
  10. Urrrgh!! When you put it like this, it's a wonder any of us survive! I'm totally at the 'lost myself' stage and, you're right, nobody ever warns you. My blog is a desperate attempt to be 'me' again. To have the opportunity. Thank goodness for chocolate! #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My blog has really helped me Lucy, I've become 'me' again because I was able to write down my thoughts and feelings without having to think about what others thought. It is so tough when you lose yourself and I'm just so glad I was able to find myself again. Here's to plenty of chocolate! ;)

      Delete
  11. Eeek my son is only 15 months. I can't imagine him at 15 years! I'll prepare myself for moody and stock up on chocolate now!! #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can be difficult to imagine them older, I remember trying to do it when both my boys were babies. Now I have a 12 year old and a 7 year old and things are very different. They do make up for the arguments on occasion though when they give me one of their bone-crushing hugs. :)

      Delete
  12. Here here Morgan, chocolate and snuggles are the perfect antedote! This is one challenge of parenting that I'm warey of... Thanks for hosting #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a toughie Carol, while I want to be mindful of his feelings and the fact that he's learning how to deal with hormones I also want to have tantrums. It's so tough. xx

      Delete
  13. This is spot on, we really get the short end of the stick, that's for damn sure. xx #bigpinklink

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hi Morgan, we just can't win as women, who then go onto be be Mums! It's the same when we finally fall foul to the 'bug' that's been going around the family. We can spend hours tending to our family's ever need, mopping browse and making sure everyone is comfortable. It never seems to work that way when we get ill. Oh the joy!... Would we ever want to be a bloke though? That's a big fat "no!" from me.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's so true Debbie, whenever my boys are ill I make sure they're as comfortable as possible but when it's my turn I have to carry on as if nothing is wrong. Like you said, "oh the joy!" But you're right though, I certainly wouldn't want to be a man! ;)

      Delete
  15. Yep, yep, yep, I hear you, loud and clear! I am at the stage when I am too uncool for anything and anything I say is "nagging". Sometimes it does suck and we are allowed to put our feet up, and have some chocolate. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes to the "nagging" - me too! Bring on the chocolate. ;)

      Delete
  16. We're a tough bunch us ladies aren't we?!
    Quite an awesome species I think ;) xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh I hear you. My oldest is almost 10 and I am sure they are starting to kick in with him. However, as you get older everything seems to be blamed on your age no matter what age you are. Crazy. But big hugs x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, whether it's age or that time of the month there's always something to blame for our "moods" eh Susan? Hugs xx

      Delete
  18. New to your blog and I loved this post! The periods was more tailored to me as I've just turned 18 but I will be revisiting you blog in the future to read all about parent hood when the time is right.
    Much Love,
    Niamh's Pretty Thought's
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw thanks so much Niamh, I'm glad you enjoyed reading. Thank you for taking the time to comment. xx

      Delete

Follow @ Instagram

Back to Top