Hello, My Name is EVIL MUM

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Evil Mum, that's me.
Evil through and through. 
red monster, angry face, I am evil!

Only an evil mum would ask her children to put shoes on so that they could go out.
Only an evil mum would tell her children to bring a coat with them, in case things got cold.
Only an evil mum would ask her children to tidy up action figures that were spread out across the carpet.

Evil mum is my name.
Evil is what I do.

The best evil-ing is done when the kids least expect it. 
Like when they get up in a morning and they're told to brush their teeth and wash their face.
Like when they're about to eat and they're told to wash their hands.
Like when they've finished eating and they're told to take away their dirty dishes.

Evil is a part of me.
Evil, not just mean.

Not letting them spend all day playing games.
Not letting them play out in the pouring rain.
Not letting them hit each other with light sabres.

I have become the Evil Mum, the one who hates and does everything in her power to make their lives a misery.

And do you know what?

You will become Evil Mum too...

three pears, with evil, angry looking faces.
Us Evil Mums should stick together!

Sooner or later your child will look at you with such hatred in their eyes you will want to cry. All the same things you've always said and done will suddenly be the worst possible things in the world.

Chatting about school friends suddenly becomes a no-go topic. 
Chatting at all is a rarity.
Getting them out of bed in the morning becomes a fight in itself and the simple fact that you were the one to wake them makes you sprout horns on your head.

Parenting is tough, there are times that really test you. 
Parenting a tween, and a tween-in-training, is pushing me to my limits.

As always I will continue, I'll take the Evil Mum name and use it. 
After all a good parent uses everything to their disposal right? 

So yes, my name is Evil Mum.

Evil Morgan


Is your room tidy?

The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

Rhyming with Wine

40 comments:

  1. Great post Morgan! I can tell you that all of the above eventually becomes easier and your kids will love you when they're all grown up. Keep going and never give up - it's all you can do x

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    1. Thanks Izzie I appreciate that. It's nice to know that it does get easier, eventually. x

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  2. HAHAHAHA!!! I love this! I think I'm pretty evil too. Initially I thought your website was hacked when I saw Evil Mom plastered all over.

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    1. haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it hun. x

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  3. I hear you! Having just survived the easter holidays with my 8, 6 and 3 year olds I can really empathise. You might think a 3yo would be the most difficult. He is so easy! Kids just get very complex the older they get don't they? Our 8yo is really testing us at the moment. Argh. I guess you just have to focus on the moments when they are lovely and try to rise above the rest. Which is easy when you're evil, of course because eveil give you superpowers. xx

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    1. Totally Maddy! It's so tough sometimes but you really do have to focus on the good moments. It's the only thing that keeps you going! :)

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  4. I hear you! I gave my three two options for today, to arrange something nice for a day off in the Easter holidays and my almost fifteen year old looked at me with utter contempt and said 'I don't make plans'

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    1. Oh dear! I'm not sure what my reaction to that would be. 😱

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  5. Don't worry...you and I can be evil together. GREAT images!! Thanks for joining #passthesauce

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    1. Fantastic! At least I don't feel so alone now! 😊 Thanks hun.

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  6. LOL! What a great post! -Marci @ Stone Cottage Adventures

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  7. I can't remember which song it is, but I have told the Tubblet that "I'm evil, my middle name is misery" after demanding that she tidy her room and she's complained ... And then given her a deadline before going in with the hoover. Hoover eat Lego :) Love this :) I wasn't evil before I became a parent, but it is a necessary survival skill

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    1. Absolutely! I have no idea how it happens but I think it's just being a mum thing. Dad's somehow escape this. I love the Hoover threat though, I might have to use that one myself. 😊

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  8. Hi Morgan, how we manage to keep our children without social services taking them away I don't know. God forbid that we ask for the kitchen sides to be wiped down after they've used them or washed up. As for wiping the stove? That's a totally evil request.

    Love your fun pictures.

    xx

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    1. Thanks Debbie, I know - if only we were nice to them all the time! 😂

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  9. Brilliant! I often feel like this and my little boy is only two - I guess I have a lot of evil mumming ahead of me!

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    1. Oh you really do Katy! Many, many years of evil mumming to come. 😂

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  10. Oooo I like the sinister question at the end...umm yes I think so! Well my son is only two and a half and I'm doing pretty well as evil mum...I mean really what sort of person makes their child clean their teeth AND tidy their toys away before bed...evil ones! #pocolo

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    1. Haha Thanks Lucy. You DON'T make him clean his teeth AND tidy his toys?! How EVIL of you!! 😂 You'd better not mention the getting changed before bed!

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  11. Perceived evil for a split moment, loved again when it suits! I love the evil pear picture! #pocolo

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    1. Thanks hun. I've passed that time, at least with BP I'm always evil! It's not much fun. 😐

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  12. Me too which in French means I am Mal Maman ... which also translates as wrong Mum so I think I'll stick as an English Evil Mum :)

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    1. Haha, yes stick with English I think!

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  13. So funny! I'm glad both my son and me survived the Apocalypse of his childhood - we even seem to like each other desoite my metamorphosis into Satan at times. And no, my room's not tidy ...

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    1. Thanks Johanne. Haha, mine isn't tidy either! But that's okay because I'm evil.

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  14. Superbly said! So very true - I am really proud to be Evil Mum on a regular basis. It will serve them well in the end :) Thank you for hosting #PoCoLo

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    1. Thanks Vicky. It certainly will, if only they understood that now. 😊

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  15. I am crying while reading this because I am an evil daughter. I dont get my mother at all before and this might have lead me to being a rebel without a cause. Now that I am a mother and I am put to where she is right now that I get her. And now my son thinks that I am evil. Villain in his superhero life.

    #pocolo

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    1. Oh hun. *Hugs*
      I know what you mean though, I hated my mum when I was a teenager but now I understand why she did what she did. She was teaching me, so that I could teach my children. The cycle of life.

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  16. Oh yes, we all have to be an evil mum at times. My boys have days where everything I do or say is met with a humpf or a moan, other days they skip around and help out. Cant win!:)

    mainy - myrealfairy

    #PoCoLo

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    1. I hear you Mainy! No matter what you do you're wrong, it's just easier to accept being wrong than trying to do better. 😀

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  17. Yuck. It's a good job I've put a stop to my son growing up! No dodgy teen years for us, thank you :-D

    #fartglitter

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    1. Haha, good idea! I wish I'd have thought of that!!

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  18. Haha this made me chuckle! And feel guilty because I know I was like this to my Mum in my teens - but then as she delights in telling me I'll get the payback when mine grow up! #pocolo

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    1. Oh me too! I was awful to my mum, and I'm getting it now. Oh how the tables turn! I now appreciate why she said I drove her mad!! 😂

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  19. True - I'm sure all mum's feel like this at time, pretty sure mine does/did - actually probably does. Mums always get to be the bad cop too... #PoCoLo

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    1. Totally. Even when it's not our fault, it's our fault!

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  20. Haha! Yes, I have always loved little children, but less keen on teens and nearly teens so not sure how I'll feel about dealing with that stage! #PoCoLo

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    1. It's certainly a challenge! But as with every other stage, we get through it eventually. x

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