Evil Mum, that's me.
Evil through and through.
Only an evil mum would ask her children to put shoes on so that they could go out.
Only an evil mum would tell her children to bring a coat with them, in case things got cold.
Only an evil mum would ask her children to tidy up action figures that were spread out across the carpet.
Evil mum is my name.
Evil is what I do.
The best evil-ing is done when the kids least expect it.
Like when they get up in a morning and they're told to brush their teeth and wash their face.
Like when they're about to eat and they're told to wash their hands.
Like when they've finished eating and they're told to take away their dirty dishes.
Evil is a part of me.
Evil, not just mean.
Not letting them spend all day playing games.
Not letting them play out in the pouring rain.
Not letting them hit each other with light sabres.
I have become the Evil Mum, the one who hates and does everything in her power to make their lives a misery.
And do you know what?
Sooner or later your child will look at you with such hatred in their eyes you will want to cry. All the same things you've always said and done will suddenly be the worst possible things in the world.
Chatting about school friends suddenly becomes a no-go topic.
Chatting at all is a rarity.
Getting them out of bed in the morning becomes a fight in itself and the simple fact that you were the one to wake them makes you sprout horns on your head.
Parenting is tough, there are times that really test you.
Parenting a tween, and a tween-in-training, is pushing me to my limits.
As always I will continue, I'll take the Evil Mum name and use it.
After all a good parent uses everything to their disposal right?
So yes, my name is Evil Mum.
Is your room tidy?