Where have you been?!

Yes, I'm here. I'm back, writing a post and everything! First of all I want to apologise for my absence, but it was necessary.

On 4th May our family suffered a huge loss when my father-in-law died. While we've seen it coming for a long time nothing can really prepare you for it actually happening. We are all heartbroken and I'm not sure when things will be normal again, or even if they will. We're all in a kind of limbo at the moment, not really knowing what to do with ourselves or how to cope.

Like I said, we saw it coming. Way back in November 2015 we found out that my father-in-law had lung cancer. I chose not to write about it out of respect for my family, it was a private issue and I didn't feel right writing about it. The only mention of anything I made was in a post called Learning to surf the waves of life in which I wrote about how life can knock you down but you have to get back up. 

Right now I'm re-reading that post because I need to hold on to that strength... for me, for my boys, but most of all for the Hubby. I will be his rock.

As an adult this is really the first family death I've had to deal with. My Nan died a few years ago but at the time I hadn't seen or spoken to her in years and while I was upset I didn't feel the loss as such. This time is very different.

Visiting the in-laws every weekend, watching the boys play card games with their granddad, and listening to the numerous stories told, it was a part of our lives and that has suddenly changed. It is going to be a long time before any of us will be able to think of this as normal

Our world has changed, and now we must learn again. Learn to live life with a piece missing. I'm not sure how we will do it, but do it we will.