Sunday was Valentine's Day and usually the Hubby and I don't bother, we don't see the point in buying cards to say how much we love each other. Don't get me wrong, we do celebrate our 'togetherness' but we save it for times when it's important to us, anniversaries and birthdays.
Valentine's Day when you're a tween is a much bigger deal.
Being the mum of a tween, one that just started High School in September, I was aware that this could be the year he'd want to do something.
BP is a quiet and shy boy who likes to keep his feelings to himself so when I asked him (a week before the day) if he wanted to buy something for Valentine's Day he said no. Wanting to give him his freedom and privacy I left it at that until the Wednesday before.
How I raised it:
First of all I didn't want to embarrass him in front of LP so I took BP to one side (out of ear-shot of LP) and asked him (again) if he wanted to get anything. Before he could tell me no again I said that I didn't need to know who it was for but if he did want to get something then we could go to the supermarket together.
I saw a slight cringe when I said that so I added that he could choose his card alone, I would hover close by in case he needed advice but otherwise I'd steer clear.
After I'd finished explaining that I was not trying to embarrass him and I wanted him to feel he could talk to me or his dad about the private stuff he admitted that he wanted to buy something.
At the supermarket:
I did as I said, I pointed out where the cards were, showed him the many options, and let him have a look on his own. He lingered for a while but when it looked like he was about to give up I pointed out another section with more cards. Luckily he found something and picked it up.
As we were at the supermarket I asked him if he wanted to buy a gift and he said he'd like to get a single rose. We looked around but couldn't find anything, there were plenty of chocolate roses and bouquets but not single roses so he gave up on the idea. Before he gave up on buying anything I showed him other things he could buy, there were plenty of gifts on the shelves.
He lingered in front of the teddy bears and settled on a cute little thing. We bought a bag to put the gifts in and headed home.
At home he was very secretive, it was clear that he didn't want me to know who the gift was for.
Although I'd loved to have known beforehand I let him have his privacy. I remember when I was BP's age I hated when my family teased me about liking a boy, I always kept those things to myself.
As it was an Inset Day on Friday I told BP he should take his gift to school with him on Thursday so that he could give it to the girl. He was so excited on Thursday and as he packed his school bag I could see a smile on his face.
After the giving:
When BP returned home he was very quiet, I asked him if he gave the girl his gift and he said yes. That was all I was getting.
Later though, while scanning Facebook, I noticed a status update that made me smile. One of the mums I know had posted a picture of a Valentine's Card and gift that her daughter had received. They were the same as the ones BP bought. I was amused by the update though, apparently the girl couldn't say thank you because BP "threw it at me (the girl) and ran away".
The card and teddy bear that BP bought
This whole process has made me realise that BP is growing up and I was glad to be there for him. We talked about privacy and girlfriends and how he could trust us not to make fun of him.
I know that the next phase of BP's growing up is going to be tough (for all of us) but it is lovely to see him caring enough about someone to want to make Valentine's Day special for them.
