Becoming A Parent Is Momentous

Before becoming a parent life is simple.

You want to go out, you get ready and go.
You fancy a new outfit, you buy it (providing you have the money).
You want a holiday, you scour the internet, choose your favourite and book.

Life is easy, the only person you need to think about is yourself and everything you do is for you (or your partner).

Then you decide to become a parent.

So simple. 

I want to be a mum

And yet, do you really think about what you're doing?

I didn't. 
I had no idea that I was about to change my life forever. Deciding to have children altered my life in a way I couldn't possibly have understood at the time.

From the moment you conceive life is changed. First of all your body morphs, your breasts get bigger, your belly grows, and the smell of food you loved a few weeks ago suddenly makes you want to throw up. 

Inside something momentous is happening.

You are creating life.

You can FEEL it.

I remember early pregnancy well, I was so sick and felt terrible for the first 12 weeks, but at the same time I felt amazing. The little baby growing inside me was my baby, it was my son or daughter, and without knowing why, I loved it.

I was utterly devoted to this tiny person I'd never even met.

Pregnancy flies by and before you know it, after lots of pain and screaming (at least for me), you're presented with a tiny person who is completely dependent on you. In the first few seconds you hold that baby in your arms and nothing in the world is more important. Pure love flows through you and it's enough to make you cry. You vow to do everything in your power to take care of that child. 

You are a parent.

Just like that. 

Once out of the hospital you have to learn so many new things. Learn to dress the tiny person who doesn't want to get dressed, learn to change their stinky nappy, learn what their cries mean. The first year is tough, some entire days are spent crying (both you and the baby). The emotional roller-coaster is tiring. You don't even rest when the baby is sleeping.

You never realised how hard it would be.

Some days you wonder whether you're a good parent, if you're doing it right. You wander through the supermarket with a screaming baby, your hair looks like you've just rolled out of bed and your clothes are creased and covered in spit-up. You spy another parent in the same aisle as you, they're smartly dressed and smiling, the baby is sleeping soundly, and you wonder what you're doing wrong.

You didn't think you'd be so rubbish at this.

It certainly doesn't seem like it at the time but as a parent of a 6 and 11 year old I can tell you the first year of parenting is the easiest.

But what that first year taught me is to be prepared. 

Be prepared for projectile vomiting at 2am. 
Be prepared for bumps on the head and falls in the canal.
Be prepared for hating yourself.

Be prepared for tears streaming down your face as your child grips your finger.
Be prepared for beaming with pride as your child sings at the top of their voice when on stage at school.
Be prepared for unconditional love.

Be prepared for ANYTHING.

That first year was nothing compared to the ones since and I've seen my boys grow into wonderful human beings. My heart is so full some days I'm not sure I can cope with the love I feel for them. 

Nothing in this world could make me want to go back to life before I had children.  

No one can explain what it's like to be a parent to someone who doesn't have children. It's not possible to understand the complete devotion you have to your child without having one. 

As much as my kids drive me mad I wouldn't change a thing. 

They are my world.

Life will never be the same again.

And I couldn't be happier about it.

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