Do You Know The Real You?

Throughout our lives we do a lot of changing. We change which friends we socialise with, we change our likes and dislikes, we change our hair. Growing up is an angsty time, particularly during your teens, and finding out who you really are can be difficult.

With peer pressure, the media, and sometimes friends and parents, trying to tell us who we should be it is difficult to know the real you. The person you WANT to be.

When I was a teen there was the usual girly problems, dealing with menstruation and my changing body, my self-belief was non existent and I had no idea who I wanted to be. All of these things culminated in me making some bad decisions.

I was learning who I was.

In 2004, when BP was born, I was still learning, and I'd just become a first-time mum. The Hubby worked in an office and I was at home with a baby, alone. I had no idea what I was doing and half the time I thought I'd really mess up this child by doing something stupid.

I had never changed a baby's nappy, I'd never even held a baby until I held BP in my arms. I was terrified. Especially when that 'mother's instinct' wasn't an instantaneous influx of wisdom. 

As I bumbled my way through motherhood I felt I was constantly being judged for my choices and didn't know which way to turn. Everyone was only happy to give advice, except it didn't apply. They had help, like their mum, who would take the baby if they needed a break. I had me, and the Hubby. That was it.

The stress of motherhood got to me.

But as BP grew, he became a loveable and courteous child. He loved everyone he met, liked playing, and was considerate. 

When LP came along I suddenly realised I knew what I was doing. The whole thing was easier and I trusted my own instincts. 

I believed in myself for the very first time.

My boys are growing every day, becoming young men right before my eyes, and they have such good, loving hearts that I can't help but be proud. Not of myself, but of them.

BP turns 11 in August, I have been a mother for eleven years and in that time I have learnt a lot. How to change a baby's nappy, what the different cries mean, and what is best for MY child. I am still learning.

One of the most important things I've learned though is who I am. The real me. 

Having children will do that, when you have a small person who relies on you completely you suddenly forget about everything else. You don't think about how you should dress, or which movie you ought to be seeing, your only thought is of the child.

And with that you get to know yourself, you get to see who you really are.

Do you choose to sit with your baby and play or do you let them play by themselves while you supervise?

Neither is right or wrong - just who you are.

That's what I've love about being a mum, I am forever learning but not just how to be a mum. I am learning how to be me. The real, genuine, me. 

My zombie/pirate and spiderman/batman boys
They make me who I am, even if they are crazy!

Of all the lessons you could ever take, parenthood is the most enlightening. You learn to take care of another person, you learn to put someone else's needs before your own. 

You learn who you really are.

The real, genuine, you.