A Tough Decision

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As you all know I've been writing a novel for nearly three years. It's been a long time in the making and has gone through various stages but over the past few weeks I've noticed a change and I've made a decision.

Going on walks with my boys makes my day.


Since the February half-term I haven't touched the novel. Not one fresh word has been written, the document hasn't even been opened. 

But the funny thing is I don't feel guilty or sad about it.

Yes, I have an unfinished novel but I also have a growing blog and a happy family.

Ducklings and their mum,
enjoying time together.
When I was trying to finish that novel I wrote constantly, I forced myself to put words on the page. The problem with that was on reading it back I could tell it was forced. It didn't ring true.

I was stressed, trying to think of ways to work out problems in the novel. I worried that I was leaving the blog behind and not 'keeping up with the Joneses'. 

It all became too much.

So, I gave myself a break. I let go and concentrated on what I enjoyed; writing here for Morgan's Milieu.

Since that decision I've noticed a few changes. Two weekends in a row I have spent an entire weekend with my family - not worrying about getting posts done, not stressing about writing a novel, just enjoying time together.

They have been the best!

My boys are happy because mum is doing stuff with them. I am happy because I can enjoy the time with the boys and not be distracted by thoughts of the novel.

Waiting to go in at Alton Towers.
We've enjoyed building K'nex together, we've been out to Alton Towers, and we've spent the day inside (when it was raining) playing Mad Libs.

That time with them is priceless. 

And that is why I'm putting the novel on the back-burner for the time being.

It was a tough decision and it doesn't mean I'm going to stop writing creatively.

I will continue to write. There are loads of linkys that I used to love taking part in and lately I've been missing out. The Prompt run by Sara Murray and Prose for Thought run by Victoria Welton come to mind (not to mention What I'm Writing with Maddy and Chrissie). 

So my plan for the coming months is to continue writing the blog. The creative writing will happen, just not on any schedule. 

I hope you will stick with me.

Check out the CBeebies House at Alton Towers!

Writing Bubble

18 comments:

  1. I think you're really brave doing this Morgan, well done for having the self-awareness to realise it was becoming a problem and you didn't want it to continue. I remember you posting a short story about a girl locked up, and if your novel was as dark as that it must have been all-consuming, and perhaps not in a great way either. You never know, you might go back to it. In the mean time enjoy your blog, and we'll of course still be here to cheer from the sidelines :-) xx #whatimwriting

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    1. Thank you so much Renée. Yes the novel was very dark and at times I found it hard to see the light, even from my boys. I think that's part of the reason for leaving it behind - I can't take the darkness all of the time. It's not terrible in short pieces like The Storm Rages On because I know it will be over soon.

      I may well return to the novel when the boys are older and I'm consumed with teenage tantrums and darkness anyway! ;)

      Thank you for your encouragement and support. It means a lot. xx

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  2. What comes across really strongly here is you know what's right for you. How brilliant to have that clarity! You can always change your mind later if circumstances change. Good luck with the blog.

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    1. Thanks Rebecca, I think when something isn't working it's usually easy to spot. That's how I've felt recently and I feel so much better for making this decision. Thank you for stopping by. xx

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  3. Good for you! It sounds like you have made the right decision for you and your family!
    Good luck x

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  4. It's obvious from this post that you've thought a great deal about this and feel lighter for your decision. It doesn't mean you won't ever finish that novel. You never know, one day you might just get a sudden urge to go back to it. It's best to stick to what makes you happy.

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    1. You're right Nicola, I was finding it so hard to juggle writing the novel, the blog and taking care of my family and something had to give. Like you say, I may well go back to it at some point but for now the blog and my boys are keeping me busy enough. xx

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  5. If it feels right for you, then it is absolutely right. There is nothing worse than writing when it feels like a chore and forced because you know inside it won't be anywhere near your best. I hope you enjoy your time and feel energised whenever you're ready to come back to the novel.

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    1. Thanks Iona. For me right now I want to concentrate on the good and bright things, the novel is dark and all consuming. I feel much better for having made the decision and, at some point, may come back to it. But for right now I'm concentrating on my family. :)

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  6. Well done on removing the pressure Morgan! Unless you're writing to a deadline there's no need to work incessantly to the point where it doesn't become enjoyable. Well done on what you've achieved so far and I'm sure you'll revisit it when you're ready. And there's lots of other writing too as you say!

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    1. Realising that any writing can be worth while eased the pressure and allowed me to make the decision. I was fixated on becoming an author, I didn't see that I was writing every day and had daily readers. That novel will still be there if I ever decide to come back to it but for now I'm happy with my decision. Thank you for your support. xx

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  7. Sounds like you've made exactly the right decision! It is so hard to juggle blogging and writing, especially when you have a young family. It's great that you're so clear and confident in your choice. And the great thing about blogging is that it IS writing so you may be putting the novel on hold but you'll still be honing your craft, albeit in a slightly different way. Thanks for linking to #whatImwriting and please feel free to continue doing so (we'd love you to!) with any posts about your blogging/writing journey or about yourself! xxx

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    1. Thank you so much Maddy. I've been thinking about this decision for a long time and enjoying time with the family over the past couple of weekends made me realise which choice was right. I AM writing every day and loving it. I'll be sure to link up with writing/blogging posts, or ones about me. Thanks again. xxx

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  8. That's great that you are enjoying the blog. I am sure that the novel writing will restart when the time comes. I have often thought about starting a novel but so far there are lots of ideas on paper and I have never found the time to do any writing. I do spend far too much time writing my blog though and I do love it. Family time is so important though and if you are getting to enjoy more of that, I think you have made the right decision.

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    1. Thanks Nikki, me too. Family is so important and anything that takes me away from that while creating more stress is not good for any of us. I love blogging and since being more consistent seem to enjoy it more (if that's possible)!

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  9. Glad you were able to take a break and that it's been beneficial. The writing will still be there when you're ready to come back to it... :-)

    Love that you're in Nottingham... me too!

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    1. Thanks hun. The novel WILL still be there, and maybe I'll come back to it at some point. Really I'm writing every day anyway, albeit in a different style, and that's what I love.

      Yay! Go NOTTS!!! ;)

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