The One With The Sex Video

First of all if you're here expecting to see a sex video you're in the wrong place. There are no sex videos here!

BP is 11 years old, he turns 12 in August, and he is well and truly in the tween/teen strop stage. Whether it's me getting him up in a morning, telling him to do his homework, or asking him to do his chores the most common response I get is a grunt, or if I'm lucky a "it's so unfair!".

We have just given him an iPhone, we had an old iPhone 5S lying around (as you do) and decided that it was time for him to be upgraded from his Windows Phone. 

Up until getting his iPhone he didn't really use his phone, he would check Facebook but he wasn't attached to it 24/7. He often forgot about it, leaving it at home if we went out. 

That's all changed.

He's on his phone all the time now. 

Chatting to friends, texting, sending photos, the usual teen stuff. 

He's had the iPhone for about a month now and he has never left it behind. When we're in the car he'll be texting friends, when we're shopping he'll be checking Facebook. 

Over the past couple of weeks I've noticed a few changes in BP. He doesn't like me 'bursting' (as he calls it) into his room without knocking, that's new. He charges his phone in his bedroom overnight and I've caught him on his phone at night when we go to bed. I've told him not to use his phone so late, but he doesn't listen.

A couple of weeks ago it occurred to me that I should be checking his phone. With predators out there I don't want him being fooled by someone and... well, it doesn't bear thinking about.

I was thinking about checking his phone at night, but, as I've said, he takes it upstairs. So while we were in the car driving to the in-laws I asked him to pass me his phone.

All seemed innocent (or as innocent as you can be at that age!) until the Hubby told me to check his web history. 

If you've ever used an iPhone you'll know that the search history windows pop up (or at least they did on the 5S) and you can see, at a glance, what pages have been visited.

I opened his browser and...

Staring back at me (or rather at each other) was a naked man and woman in an embrace. 

It was a still image from a video.

I stared at the phone. 
I couldn't pull my gaze away. 

Running through my mind were things like "but this is BP's phone", "Did BP search for this?!", "Oh. My. GOD!!".

I nearly shrieked!

It took everything I had not to scream out loud.

I went quiet. 

I may have even held my breath. 

And the Hubby looked at me, puzzled. 

I showed him the phone and he...


Out loud.

He cracked up. Couldn't stop laughing.

All he could say, between his chortles, was that we'd discuss it later.

It dawned on me.

"My son has been looking at porn!"

I have never been more shocked.

I presume it's the same kind of shock a mum used to have when finding porn magazines in her son's bedroom. 

The thing is I knew this was coming. Not in the "oh yes, he does that" kind of way but I expected that, at some point, he would start to be curious about that kind of thing. I just didn't expect it yet. I mean he's 11!

Okay, nearly 12 but still.

After discussing things with the Hubby we decided to do nothing.

BP is at the stage in his life where any discussions with me or the Hubby about sex is "totally embarrassing" and he shuts down. He won't talk, and to be honest I don't know if he'll listen.

He is curious, but doesn't want input from his parents. I remember feeling just like that when I was young and there was no way I would've discussed things with my parents.

The only thing I can do, as a mum, is to stand by and keep an eye on him. I have to take a step back and let him learn, alone. His friends and peers are likely talking about it constantly and he's picking things up.

I can only hope that if he has any questions he'll come to us.

Parenting a toddler was tough, but it has nothing on parenting a tween.

Can you pass me the bourbon?

Share the Joy linky at

Marvellous Mondays badge by Hello Archie

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

And then the fun began...


Post Comment Love

Brilliant blog posts on