Changing Friends

Over the past year one of my friends has been having a really hard time. Her marriage has broken down and she is now in the process of going through a divorce. She had spent a long time being unhappy in the family home and after trying to talk to her husband about it decided it was time to leave.

Although it was her choice to leave the family home do not think that she was happy to do so. At the time she left I believe that she thought there was the possibility of reconciliation and she clung to that for a while. Every day I saw her she looked tired, upset and hurt. She would have good days, those being the days she didn't cry every waking moment and she would have bad days. On her bad days my heart broke for her and we spoke about how much she was hurting. The instant I saw her in a morning I knew what kind of day she was having simply by how she walked into the playground.

For a long time she was upset and couldn't actually bring herself to file the divorce papers, she just wasn't ready. She had lots of 'advice' from people telling her to just get on with it, "What are you waiting for?" one person said. I think I can understand why she didn't want to do it and I told her that she should wait until she was ready. It didn't matter what anyone else thought.

Right now the divorce process is underway and she is alright. In fact I think I could go as far as saying she is almost happy. In recent weeks I have noticed a distinct change in her outlook, she is definitely more positive and is learning to be single again. Not an easy task, she tells me, but all I keep saying is 'have as much fun as you can!'

On a few occasions she has mentioned men she's glanced at while in Starbucks or someone she met at a friend's house. Her face lights up, her smile is wide and it makes me so happy to see her embracing her new life. This Friday she has a date and although I can tell she is nervous I also know she's happy about it. I think she's realised that not all men are like her ex and actually she is allowed to have some fun.

Even if this date goes nowhere and they don't 'click' at least she has had a good time, got out there and spoken to other men. She is learning about herself, she is learning about others but most of all she is learning that she can be happy. She still has the odd bad day but they are becoming less frequent and each time I see her in a morning I smile. My friend is herself again, her true self, and now she has no one there telling her she's wrong.

I have watched my friend change over the past year, like a caterpillar that turns into a butterfly. As a writer watching the process has been great and given me lots of useful insights into relationships and personalities. As a friend it has been both painful and amusing. We're entering the amusing stages now, each time we meet up we're like a couple of teenage girls talking about boys! And you know what? It's exactly what she needs.

Have you seen friends go through changes or is it you that's changing?
How does it make you feel to see the changes?

Linking to #AllAboutYou with Mama_andmore

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