The Evolution of Parenting

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When you first think about having children you don't realise the many stages you will go through as a parent. Right now I'm the mum of two boys and they're both at different stages, one being a tween (12 year old BP) and one being a tween-in-training (7 year old LP).  In the time I've been a parent I've learned about the various stages and they remind me of the many stages of evolution. 

While pondering the stages of evolution and the comparison to parenting I came up with The Evolution of Parenting.


Australopithecus


An extinct genus of hominins. Related to apes but walked upright. They had a projecting face, a small brain, and small canine teeth. They had curved and strong fingers, and their S shaped spine allowed for balance when standing.


Babyalotonappycus

The first genus of "parenticus". Close to exhaustion, often fails to walk upright. They have half-closed eyes, a half-functioning brain, and a strong stomach for coping with spit-up, vomit, and other bodily functions of Baby. They carry a large bag containing nappy-changing materials and extra baby clothes which causes imbalance when standing. 




Homo Habilis


Walked fully upright and used their forearms for handling tools and weapons. Their jaw and teeth resembled modern humans and they had increased brain size (600 cubic centimetres). They used tools to prepare meats and were the first of our relatives to have opposable thumbs.


Mumo Babylis

Walks upright after getting baby to sleep through the night. Carrying a heavy changing bag and wrestling with off-spring during nappy changes ensures they have strong forearms. They have reduced brain function (after many sleepless nights and days of only hearing baby talk). Use brightly coloured plastic "toys" to entertain offspring. They are the first "parenticus" to venture away from their base with offspring in tow.





Homo Erectus


The first "naked ape" perhaps with dark pigmented skin. They processed and butchered hunted animals using stone tools (like axes and cleavers) they had made and used fire to cook the meat. They may have been the first to make and wear clothing.


Mumo Toddlerus

The first "toddlerish" fluent parent and has dark circles under their eyes. Performs actions to nursery rhymes on request (from toddlerithicus) and makes houses and toys using yoghurt pots and paint. The use of animal noises may also be used to entertain offspring. 



Neandertalensis


The strongest humanoids ever, but they were defeated into extinction by smarter sapiens. They cared for their injured and buried their dead. They used caves as shelters/homes and had weapons made of stone.


Schoolrunparentsis

Experts in the morning routine and packed lunches, they organise play-dates and coffee mornings using a phone with reminders. The most organised "parenticus" so far, but often turns to alcohol at the end of a trying day.



Homo Sapiens - Cro-Magnon


They used tools to kill animals (possibly a bow and arrow) and walked upright. They had self-consiousness and used the chemical laws of nature for fire and plants. They made paintings and showed the beginnings of moral reasoning. 


Mumo Teeniens - Pro-Evilmom

Kills offsprings social life by banning games and phones (possibly humiliating offspring with baby photos). Walks with their head high and has self confidence (some of the time. They use the learned laws of teen-dom for optimum punishments and show the beginnings of "finding oneself".



Homo Sapiens Sapiens


Walks upright and uses tools and technology. They made spears, guns, nuclear weapons, automobiles, aircraft, art, music, telecom, and skyscrapers. They have reached the moon and mastered the laws of nature at a nuclear level. They function in a walking state consciousness.


Mumo Super Supremio

"Your job is done" 
Walks with head high and uses phones and computers to blog and be social. They make cakes, paintings, write stories, and go to shops. They have mastered mothering at an expert level and now (or may soon) functions as a Grand-Mumo. The aim of all Parenticus.



As you can see the life of the parent can be documented just like the evolution of man. The markings of each stage are a little more subtle but their just as significant. 

Where would you be on the evolution scale?

This post appeared first on meetothermums.com


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40 comments:

  1. Hehe very funny. It certainly feels like you don't have brain function in the early stages! #PoCoLo

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    1. Thanks Lucy, it's pretty tough in the beginning isn't it? :)

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  2. Lol. Sometimes it does seem like everyone evolves just like this!

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    1. Thanks Emma, I may have gone along the stereotype route but I think this is fairly close for most. :)

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  3. This is like a review for me of the evolution of men and then nodding on your version haha! I am a Schoolrunparentsis and though I dont finish my day with alcohol but chocolate =P

    I still have a long way to go to fully evolved =)

    #pocolo

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    1. Oh chocolate is perfect! I'm trying to steer clear of the alcohol (but failing!), perhaps I need to replace it with chocolate.
      I have a long way to go fully evolved too. But it's something to look forward to isn't it? :)

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  4. hahaha! This is so true. Fab post x

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  5. For me I'm a mixture of Babyalotonappycus and Mumo Babylis but aiming for the next level with a desire for messy play. #pocolo

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  6. Ha ha, this is so true, great post x
    #PoCoLo

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  7. With two teenagers in the house and one at nearly 18 who is pushing all those boundaries into adulthood I feel I have come full circle back to Babyalotonappycus as I have to care for him after too many late nights and heavy partying! #pocolo

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    1. Haha, I'd not even considered that! You're so right though. I hope you get through it okay and get to enjoy that fully evolved stage. :)

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  8. This is genius. I'm somewhere between Mum Toddlerus & Schoolrunparentsis. Thank you for making me see there's a light at the end of ththe tunnel!! :D only kidding. I love him to the moon and back! #pocolo

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    1. Thanks Jaki! Yes indeed, there is light at the end of the tunnel. ;)

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  9. This post is clever, creative and hilarious - I love it :-D xx

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  10. Very clever Morgan. I'm concerned I might be more than one! Thanks for hosting #pocolo

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    1. Haha, thanks Nicky. I think we all go through the various stages and there may be times when we're more than one - it's the magic of evolution! ;)

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  11. Haha - this is brilliant! Pro- evilmom- amazing! #PoCoLo

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  12. Funny, but all too true I'm sure - and lots of parents will be nodding along. It's all scientific :)

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  13. This was a funny and enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it! Looking forward to getting through and past a few of those stages myself.

    Katie #BigPinkLink

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    1. Thanks Katie! Yes, I'm looking forward to Mumo Super Supremio myself! ;)

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  14. Haha I absolutely love this post! So true xx

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    1. Thanks so much Sarah, glad you enjoyed it. x

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  15. Haha great post, well I guess I would be schoolmumparentsis but not so much of the organisation ha! Thanks for linking up lovely, hope you'll stop by again #bestandworst

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    1. Hehe, I know what you mean hun. I try so hard to be organised but I never quite manage it. ;)

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  16. Brilliant!! Not only is it hilarious, and I love the analogy, but it's informative too! The perfect blog post!! I'm Mumo Toddlerus at the moment...! The description described my everyday life perfectly!!
    #bigpinklink

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    1. Thanks lovely! So glad you liked it. xx

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  17. Im not sure where I fit yet I think somewhere around the Mumo Teeniens - Pro-Evilmom. thank you for making me laugh on a crappy day! Thank you for linking up to #ablogginggoodtime 🎉

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    1. Oh Catie I'm sorry you had a crappy day but so glad I got to make you laugh. ;)

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