Valentine's Day as a Tween

/

/ by
Sunday was Valentine's Day and usually the Hubby and I don't bother, we don't see the point in buying cards to say how much we love each other. Don't get me wrong, we do celebrate our 'togetherness' but we save it for times when it's important to us, anniversaries and birthdays.

Valentine's Day when you're a tween is a much bigger deal.

Being the mum of a tween, one that just started High School in September, I was aware that this could be the year he'd want to do something.

BP is a quiet and shy boy who likes to keep his feelings to himself so when I asked him (a week before the day) if he wanted to buy something for Valentine's Day he said no. Wanting to give him his freedom and privacy I left it at that until the Wednesday before.

How I raised it:


First of all I didn't want to embarrass him in front of LP so I took BP to one side (out of ear-shot of LP) and asked him (again) if he wanted to get anything. Before he could tell me no again I said that I didn't need to know who it was for but if he did want to get something then we could go to the supermarket together.

I saw a slight cringe when I said that so I added that he could choose his card alone, I would hover close by in case he needed advice but otherwise I'd steer clear.

After I'd finished explaining that I was not trying to embarrass him and I wanted him to feel he could talk to me or his dad about the private stuff he admitted that he wanted to buy something.

At the supermarket:


I did as I said, I pointed out where the cards were, showed him the many options, and let him have a look on his own. He lingered for a while but when it looked like he was about to give up I pointed out another section with more cards. Luckily he found something and picked it up.

As we were at the supermarket I asked him if he wanted to buy a gift and he said he'd like to get a single rose. We looked around but couldn't find anything, there were plenty of chocolate roses and bouquets but not single roses so he gave up on the idea. Before he gave up on buying anything I showed him other things he could buy, there were plenty of gifts on the shelves.

He lingered in front of the teddy bears and settled on a cute little thing. We bought a bag to put the gifts in and headed home.

At home he was very secretive, it was clear that he didn't want me to know who the gift was for.

Although I'd loved to have known beforehand I let him have his privacy. I remember when I was BP's age I hated when my family teased me about liking a boy, I always kept those things to myself.

As it was an Inset Day on Friday I told BP he should take his gift to school with him on Thursday so that he could give it to the girl. He was so excited on Thursday and as he packed his school bag I could see a smile on his face.

After the giving:


When BP returned home he was very quiet, I asked him if he gave the girl his gift and he said yes. That was all I was getting.

Later though, while scanning Facebook, I noticed a status update that made me smile. One of the mums I know had posted a picture of a Valentine's Card and gift that her daughter had received. They were the same as the ones BP bought. I was amused by the update though, apparently the girl couldn't say thank you because BP "threw it at me (the girl) and ran away".

The card and teddy bear that BP bought

This whole process has made me realise that BP is growing up and I was glad to be there for him. We talked about privacy and girlfriends and how he could trust us not to make fun of him.

I know that the next phase of BP's growing up is going to be tough (for all of us) but it is lovely to see him caring enough about someone to want to make Valentine's Day special for them.

I was so proud.

Linking up with Weekend Blog Hop and...

Happy Diaries

Diary of an imperfect mum

Brilliant blog posts on HonestMum.com

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

Super Busy MUm

A Cornish Mum

50 comments:

  1. Aww. You handled it so sensitively. I hope I can handle it so well when my tweens get to this stage. I'm glad his friend liked her gift, he is a very thoughtful young man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Louisa, like I said he made me so proud. :)

      Delete
  2. It's such an awkward stage isn't it? I imagine he was probably really nervous, which is why he threw it her but I'm glad she liked the gift! My teenager isn't quite ready for that but he was adamant that I like Valentine's Day this year because I'm not a Valentine's Day person so I agreed to celebrate with him and his brother and I got them both a few things and made them their own gift boxes, which they loved. My teenager does like a girl but he won't tell me anything more that. I am trying to explain to him that he can come to me but without making him feel like he has to. I'm glad your son had a good day! #happydiaries

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's the best we can do, offer our support without being too pushy, and hope that they talk to us. :)
      Thanks for stopping by, it sounds like you had a lovely Valentine's Day. x

      Delete
  3. Aww! You handled it so well...You have a very sweet boy and his friend is very lucky!
    I think with girls it is easier...My girl had been asking to buy Valentines day card and pressies for at leas a month before the big day. lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I think you're probably right Kim, girls tend to think about these things for a lot longer!

      Delete
  4. What a totally fab mum, supportive but not too in your face! I love how you handled the whole situation and I am sure your son will remember this when he's grown up too. TY for linking up with #FamilyFun 🌸

    ReplyDelete
  5. Love this post!! I've got this all to come but can't wait!! #happydiaries

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is so sweet. I imagine my eldest son would throw a gift at a girl in a similar situation. Or he might tell her how she 'should' act when being given a gift. Well done mum and helping him through it and BP for doing well too. Xxx @eainbowsaretoo #FamilyFun

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love the way you handled this and helped encourage BP with buying his Valentine's gifts without embarrassing him over it. Love his gifts for his friend and glad to hear that she liked them too.

    ReplyDelete
  8. very cute. Such a tricky time to figure out what they need from us

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was really difficult but we got there in the end.

      Delete
  9. So sweet - it's such an awkward age, not grown up but grown up enough to not want your parents knowing the ins and outs of your business! x #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally. I remember what I was like too, which made me more aware I think. :)

      Delete
  10. Such a sweet gesture! My son is just 5 but I will keep this in mind when he is ready for Vday! This has got me excited for that day! #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah that's so lovely, you might have a few years to wait though. ;)

      Delete
  11. It hadn't occurred to me that my boys might want to start sending cards so young (well except home made ones to me and their Dad of course!). Mind you,my eldest is only 8 but that doesn't seem that much younger than BP. eeek. I must get prepared when the time comes! Very well handled by you! #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, it'll be here before you know it Maddy. It only seems two minutes ago that BP was 8! It certainly does fly by. Thanks hun, kind of you to say. x

      Delete
  12. That's very touching and well done for handling it so sensitively

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aww how sweet! Love that he threw it at her! Still, I'm guessing she was pleased if it ended up on facebook! #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just so cute, and I was so proud of him. :)

      Delete
  14. Hi Morgan, it's lovely that your son took the step of showing a girl that he cared. The awkwardness is only natural, but I bet inside he was secretly chuffed. Youngsters have to be able to trust us with their privacy and feelings, but we have to earn that trust and I think you did admirably.

    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Debbie, I do think he was secretly chuffed. :)

      Delete
  15. Aww this is so sweet,I can just imagine it :) We do not usually buy things for each other but my husband brought me flowers so I rushed to the shop on Valentines day and bough him chocolate!!

    Thanks for sharing at the weekend blog hop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Claire, no me and the Hubby are the same - we don't really bother. But I guess from now on I'll have to think about BP.

      Delete
  16. Aw, that's really sweet. I guess I've got that to look forward to in future. Although I pity N because given the ribbing that his uncle and dad give his older cousins about girls, I'm surprised any of them would share any of their crushes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, I remember that well. I used to get teased a lot about my crushes, I guess that's why I didn't do that with LP.

      Delete
  17. I love how you dealt with this. Being a tween/teen is such an awkward time and it sounds like you really respected his boundaries. I have to say that I really admire him for getting something in the first place - lots of boys would have chickened out. I love that she shared it too. Thank you for hosting #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much Vicky, he's such a private boy most of the time and it was tough getting him to admit he wanted to get something. I think once I explained that I wasn't trying to make fun of him he relaxed. xx

      Delete
  18. Ah, that's lovely and I think you dealt with it in the best way possible. Glad she liked the gift :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Aw, what a lovely way to handle it - clearly it was a big thing for you both, but giving your boy guidance like this will stand his future girlfriends in good stead X #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
  20. Awww how cute! I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to this stage, they grow up so fast!! #PoCoLo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They really do! My youngest is six and I'm already wondering when he'll be asking about this kind of thing!

      Delete
  21. What an amazing and sensitive way to handle this. I woulod ahve appreciated such an approach when I was at such a tender age. Good work. I think your son will rememebr this for all the correct reasons when he is older. #MMWBH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you John, that's very kind of you to say. x

      Delete
  22. Aw, that is super cute. Sounds like you handled a difficult situation for him admirably x

    #fartglitter

    ReplyDelete
  23. Oh this is just lovely bless him, and so well handled by you! My eldest has just started secondary school last September eek they grow up too fast!

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix Stevie x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They certainly do hun - FAR too fast. x

      Delete
  24. I love this post and love how you handled it. I'm going to make a mental note for when I am onlder. I think you are perfectly paving the way for a very open and honest relationship. How lovely that he threw it at her, I would have been so embarassed giving someone one. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, I really tried my hardest not to make it embarrassing for him. x

      Delete
  25. Aw Morgan, I really hope that when our little girl's time comes, I can have the same (successful) approach. BP sounds quite sensitive like our little girl. Lovely post :) #pocolo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Carol, I'm sure you'll do great. xx

      Delete

Follow @ Instagram

Back to Top