Thursday, 27 February 2014

Who I Am

Over the last couple of months I've been spending most of my time blogging and trying to establish a routine that I can stick to. So far it's worked pretty well and that's thanks to the wonderful ladies that run various linkys throughout the blogging community. Since the start of January I've ignored my book, banishing it to the archives and promising to come back - at some point. A few weeks ago I thought I would give up on it after all I'm only a housewife. Who would want to read something I wrote?

Well, it turns out I can't. Something in me won't let me forget why I started in the first place and that pesky muse has been tapping me on the shoulder for the last couple of weeks. It's time to get back to the book. This means I'll be very busy trying to edit what I already have while attempting to carry on blogging. The one thing you can count on is that I'll be here, every Thursday for #Prose4T because it allows me to be creative without the pressure of a novel. This week's poem is about me realising who I really am, probably about time right?

Who I Am

It is part of me, I know that now
It's who I am and here I vow
No more hiding, pretending you're not here
Glancing back and trying to be clear

I won't fight this inner need
I'll sit here and give the words to feed
Pages with prose full of truth and pain
Hearing my muse, hope she will not wane

Visions and words pop into my head
Even when I'm trying to sleep in my bed
I curse because the pen is gone
iPad in hand and switch it on

Prodding at the screen and then
Trying to go back to sleep again
On my shoulder my muse awaits
To whisper in my ear, create

This world that I've been trying to hide
Characters wondering why 'she lied'
Talking and acting in a way
I never expected, why would they?

These people wait for my fingers to type
Their next move, will they smile or gripe?
The world in which they live is just
In my head but now I must

Write the words and see what comes
I can't ignore my wonderful chums
Taunting and hounding their way back to
The computer screen and onto you

Stories in me want to get out
I tried to banish them but now I doubt
I'll ever escape my friends and muse
They won't go, they simply refuse

So here I am writing again
Their stories lay before me and when
The kids are at school and I have peace and quiet
I'll type their words so they don't riot

I'll no longer ignore that inner voice
I realise I have no choice
I create with words, sometimes wild and gory
I'm a writer, whether blog or story

So, I may get frazzled over the next few weeks while I'm trying to keep up the pace with story writing and blog writing. I refuse to let myself slip back into the 'lazy housewife' mode and let go of something I really love doing.

Prose for Thought

16 comments:

  1. I love how writing won't let you go. Glad your muse is persistent! x

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    1. Me too Sarah! I'd forgotten why I loved writing so much and she's reminded me. :)

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  2. I like the way you bring your little people to life! I feel that way about writing too, although juggling blogging and creative writing with everything else in life is hard. If moral support would help you then you should join the #writingwarriors linky at Beautiful Misbehaviour - it's for writers just like you! (and me!) #prose4T

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    1. You're so right about the juggling of both creative writing and blogging. It is very difficult. Especially when you put half-terms, bugs and play dates in the mix too. I'll definitely be heading over for the #writingwarriors linky, Stephanie told me about it a while ago and haven't quite got round to it yet!

      Hope you find that balance soon. xx

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  3. I love this. I can relate. I love that I am not the only one lying awake thinking of my writing, my blog, and what comes next. This is a great poem. Thanks for sharing. Popping over from #prose4t

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    1. Thank you Jenny. I'll often wake in the middle of the night with my muse yelling in my ear or I'll be in the kitchen making dinner and she'll be moaning about me not writing! Thanks for stopping by. xx

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  4. I am on the same journey so relate so much
    All the best with all your writing wherever it is done

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    1. Thanks Kate, hope your journey is going well. xx

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  5. I'm so pleased that you aren't going to give up. I love how close you can get to characters that exist only in your head and on paper. You start to really care for them, don't you? Can't wait to hear more about the book in due course! xx

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    1. The character thing is strange and I don't think people can understand unless they're writers. They really do seem like real people and I think that's the only way it can be, how else do we make them seem real to readers? I love my characters and although it sounds very weird, I've cried for them. I'm getting back to the book and I'm hoping to get through edits. I need to push myself and not give up when things aren't going well. Thanks for stopping by, I really appreciate it. xx

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  6. Good to hear you've found your muse again. I'm having the opposite problem - made a New Year's vow to stop procrastinating with blogging & short stories etc and to get on with a bigger (novel) project that's been lying fallow for years... I've got nowhere, with anything. :( Keep hitting them keys, and may your muse stay with you :) ~Prose4T

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    1. Oh dear, I hope you find your writing mojo soon and you can make some progress with all your projects. Sending you inspiring thoughts and hoping your muse comes to visit soon.

      And thank you. xx

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  7. Sometimes you need to step away to be able to step back refreshed. Glad your muse has returned!

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    1. Yes you're right, I've often take a break from my writing to gain perspective. This time the break was much longer than I intended but I'm glad that it won't let me go! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. xx

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  8. Keep going - if you feel that strongly about it, then you need to keep going. Glad you've gotten your mojo back #prose4t

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    1. Thank you, you're right. I've got a plan in place now and am going to stick to it. At least if I set out a plan then I can see where I'm supposed to be heading! Thanks for stopping by. xx

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