The Curse of the 30's

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Okay, first of all I’m going to warn you that this post may be a little depressing.  Something has been happening to me recently and I wasn’t sure whether or not to write about it but when I realised it’s something that no one ever mentions I figured ‘why not?’

When you’re in your 20’s, nearing that big three-zero, it seems like it’s a huge number and some people don’t cope too well with it. I remember watching Friends, the one where Rachel turns 30, and thinking that would be me (if you haven’t seen it, why not?). It wasn’t as it turns out and I didn’t mind turning 30, it was just another number and I entered a new phase of my life. Everyone seems to make a big deal out of turning 30, I guess it’s because it’s when we’re expected to grow up, act more like an adult. At least when you’re in your twenties you can act how you like and most people will just say it’s because you’re young. Everyone I know told me that becoming 30 was the turning point, “It’s all downhill” they said. I didn’t believe them, of course. 

To be honest I don’t think it is all downhill, I think it’s just another step in the journey. Looking back, the thing that no one mentioned is that this is the decade you realise you are mortal. That sounds kind of stupid I know but hear me out. In the last few weeks something very unnerving has started happening to me. I’ve started to think about my, my husband’s and even my children’s mortality. Everywhere I look I see something that could completely change our life or I worry that when the little one jumps off the couch all kinds of things could go wrong and he’ll end up in the hospital. I never realised before how vulnerable we are… all of us, all the time. I never thought that this would dawn on me in this decade - and no one warned me about it either, which makes it even worse.

My husband used to have to fly over to America quite a lot with work, he’d spend a week there and then come home. It never bothered me, even when he was in France for the riots and the collapse at the Charles De Gaulle Airport. Don’t get me wrong I did worry about him. He was on a plane on 9/11 heading for New York and… well let’s just say that my husband has been in areas where stuff happens. A lot. A few weeks ago he went into Nottingham in our car to a meeting which I expected him back from at about 6pm. Six o’clock came and went and you won’t believe the things that went through my mind. I was panicky, couldn’t think about anything but where he was and if he was ok. He’s been away from me for weeks at a time and this completely threw me.

I think what I’m trying to say is that turning thirty is no big deal, it’s the whole decade that is the big deal. The fact that you realise someone you know could get hurt, someone you love may well be in an accident, get diagnosed with Cancer or some other disease and there is nothing you can do about it. Life happens, death happens and you realise it’s going to happen to you too.

My philosophy now? Enjoy life. Take any opportunity you have to make new friends, take on new challenges and push yourself. Tackle problems head on, don’t ignore things that annoy you and most of all LOVE. Your husband, lover, friend… anyone. Make sure that you experience the euphoria of having someone cling to you so tight that you can’t breath, hearing them say ‘I love you’ and know they really, truly mean it. After all, that’s what life’s really about isn’t it?

SuperBusyMum

6 comments:

  1. You're not alone. I regularly am far more aware than I want to be of the mortality of my own family - specifically my husband and children - I have to give myself a stern talking to every now and again to make sure I don't swamp myself with it. I tend to think it's more to do with being a mother though than being thirty to be honest.
    #MMWBH

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    1. Well thank you so much for letting me know I'm not alone! That certainly makes me feel a little better. I would normally say that this is a mother thing but it's only just hit me and I've been a mother for nine years! Either way sometimes it can get too much. Giving myself a talking to may be just what I need. :)

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  2. I think for me it was having kids that did it. I push it all to the back of my mind, you can't wrap everyone in cotton wool so that you never have to worry, and I can't let myself think about it all the time, it would be crippling. You are certainly not alone in this xx #MMWBH

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    1. Having kids is certainly a factor and brings it to the forefront when they're doing things like climbing trees or going swimming. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. xx

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  3. What a beautiful post and I adored that final paragraph. Your so right. So SO insanely right about every word and as Colette said, you're not alone in your thoughts either.

    Thank you so much for sharing and linking up with #MMWBH! xx

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    1. Thank you Debs. I think the best way to get through all the depressing stuff is to look on the bright side, every time. :)

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