I’ve really been struggling these past few weeks to make any progress with my book. Every time I read a page I question what I’m doing. I know first drafts are supposed to be terrible, I’ve read it hundreds of times but when you’re staring at words, that you wrote, on the screen and they sound awful how do you continue to have faith in yourself?
Being in a transition doesn’t help, my youngest boy is starting full-time school in September, we’re about to go on holiday and I’m trying to organise my ‘office’ so that I can have somewhere organised to work. With so much going on it’s hard to find that motivation and after reading my work I feel worse. I spend half my ‘writing time’ looking at email and social networks and the rest of the time I spend editing but at the moment all I feel like doing is hitting that delete button and starting again. I don’t know if this is par for the course or if I’m doing something wrong?
I read a few writer’s blogs and they all seem to be making great progress and I wonder if there’s something more I could be doing. Could I be reading more how-to books? Should I be letting people read my awful first drafts? Is keeping it all to myself the way to go? I have no idea about this stuff but I’m afraid to ask, I’m scared that someone will say “You should let someone read your work.” - What if they do and they tell me I’m a terrible writer? OMG! I can’t believe how much that terrifies me. I’m so scared of someone seeing my work that when the hubby comes into my office for a chat I hide my screen, I make sure he can’t see anything I’ve written. Am I crazy? I think my story is good but getting it readable might be really hard. What do I do?
Any advice from writers who’ve been through this stage or general writerly advice would be very welcome at this point. I really don’t know what to do with myself!