An Exciting Journey

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This time last year I was scared, I'd started to think about my future. My youngest son is almost 3 and starting nursery in September. I realised this is the first time since having my eldest, who is seven, that I've been able to think about myself. I began to wonder what I would do. The last time I had any time to myself I was pregnant so it seemed pointless starting anything. I have no plans for any more children (two is enough) so the time will be mine.

Morgan's Milieu | An Exciting Journey: Hiking in the mountains.
After spending all of my time for the last eight years looking after children I was pleased I would have some time for me but there was a terrible dread. Would I turn into a neat freak, spending all my free time cleaning the house?

At the time I was reading a book called The Heat, the first book in a series of four called The Big Bad Wolf Series by Heather Killough-Walden. She is a very talented writer who I admire a lot. She is also a mother.

When I'd finished reading one of Heather's blog posts I had an epiphany. I realised Heather was a real person too. She has problems just like everyone else but she manages to do something she loves and touch people's lives. I thought about myself, about my life and what I intended to do with it. Something seemed to fall into place and I wondered if I could do that. Could I write a book? Ever since I can remember, I wanted to write but didn't. My self-doubt had always held me back, I didn't think I was capable and with all those millions of books out there, why would someone read mine?

Then came Amazon. They opened up the world of writing to me. Amazon and the Kindle made me realise that I could write a book and publish it myself. My husband told me about someone called John Locke who'd managed to publish books himself and was doing quite well. John Locke has written lots of books now but at the time there were five. Having read his book How I Sold 1 Million eBooks in 5 Months! I challenged myself. I was going to try and write a book.

I spent weeks expanding one simple idea into a story. I planned the plot and twists and spent time getting to know my characters. I didn't start writing until I had everything in and it felt right. This was the most painful part, I wanted to start writing straight away but knew that if I did I would end up in a muddle, not knowing where I wanted the plot to go or what my characters should be doing. When I eventually started writing it went quicker than I'd imagined and within a few months I was finished.

In the years I've spent looking after the children and taking care of the housework I've not had much to be proud of (apart from my children) but when I wrote those two words, I felt wonderful. The End. Wow! I had cobbled together random thoughts and created a story. I had written a novel. Me, a lowly housewife!

However, I couldn't put my finger on it but the story wasn't right. It seemed forced and I felt like I was chasing the crowd so I decided to move on. After taking some time away I had a flash of inspiration for a new story and realised I'd been writing the wrong genre. Leaving my previous story behind I began the planning for my new one. Again it took a while but I'm writing chapter 12 today. I'm not going to publish that first story but it's something I can look at when I'm feeling down and be proud.

I'm still learning and writing as much as I can and sometimes it's hard squeezing it in between housework and taking care of the kids, but I've found something for me. Something that is all mine. I have my self-confidence back and I feel good. I took a terrifying step into a world I know nothing about, but you know what? I'm excited!

Looking back I can see that I wasted too much time thinking about what I couldn't do and not enough time imagining what could happen if I did something. The voice inside my head had been saying "Who do you think you are? You couldn't do anything worthwhile!" and that was holding me back. It is so fulfilling to jump into the unknown and find something you know you ought to have been doing all along. Don't write yourself off just because you're a stay-at-home mum or dad. There will come a time when those young children are at school and you too will wonder what to do, if you're not already. I'm urging you to take that step. Find the thing that makes you happiest and do it. Embark on a scary but exciting journey. You never know what you will achieve. And who knows... Maybe we could help each other along the way?

Magic Moments Linky

16 comments:

  1. Heather Killough-Walden6 March 2012 at 20:11

    Morgan, what a lovely blog. I can't tell you how touched I am that I was a source of inspiration for you. I wish you the very best of luck and am so proud of you for following your heart - and for urging others to do the same. :) Way to pay it forward. xoxo
    - Heather K-W

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  2. Heather I don't think you realise how much you touch peoples lives. You are an inspiration. I've always 'wanted to try' and write a book but always thought 'what's the point'. However I am now 'trying' to write one, it is hard / difficult / challenging and draining, but, I'm finally attempting to do something I've always wanted to do but never thought I would.

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  3. Heather, thank you so much for visiting my blog! When I wrote this post I never expected that! You have no idea how happy you have made me - and it's more reason to follow my heart. xx
    I hope that anyone who reads this post is inspired to go after their dream. Being a 'lowly housewife' sometimes makes you question whether or not you're capable. We all need to remember that we are capable of anything we put our minds to!
    Morgan x

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  4. Great inspirational post. I'm a screenwriter but books that could inspire for any genre were Dorethea Brande's Becoming a Writer and Lagos Egri's The Art of Dramatic Writing (latter amazing for character). Good luck x

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    1. HonestMum thanks for the books tips, they'll be added to my 'to read' list. : )

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  5. Morgan, you're doing good. Such an inspiring post. I too had to scrap an idea almost 75 pages in and start again with a new idea. It's a tough decision but the reward of making that decision is astounding. I'm now working on a project I truly love and my heart is fully into the work!!!

    Oh, I'm giving you The Liebster Award on my site! Enjoy! :D

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    1. Thank you so much Jack! You have no idea how big my smile is right now! : D
      It was a tough decision to scrap the story but one I'm glad I made. At the moment I'm doing the best I can to keep at it, writing has become my outlet for stress. If I don't write I get irritable! I never knew that could happen!
      Anyway thanks again Jack. You are very kind.
      Morgan x

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  6. Aloha Morgan,

    Thanks for the follow and I'm doing the same *especially* as I'm also a stay-at-home parent.

    This was a great post, and it's great to "meet" someone who's walking the same path as me :)

    Looking forward to reading more :)

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  7. I just looked up the series and saw that it was about werewolves, yes!!

    How is your story coming along? Best wishes on your project! I know how difficult taking the first steps, and writing the first novel can be. You are doing great!

    Andrea

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    1. Heather is a fantastic writer and she has just published a new book which centres around vampires! I've not had a chance to read it yet but am really looking forward to it.

      The story is going well. I've had a few setbacks and times when I didn't really 'feel' the story but I'm trying to push through it. It's tough finding the time but I'm sure I'll get there in the end.

      Thanks for reading Andrea and thank you even more for commenting! It's great when I get a response to anything I write, makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time.

      Morgan x

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  8. This is such a fantastic post, even though my youngest is nearly 2 i do wonder what i will do with myself once the time comes for him to go off to school and no longer need me like he did.

    you are inspirational and I am honored that you choose to share this with my linky #magicmoments

    Thank you :-) x

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    1. Thank you Jaime.

      You made me smile and I was happy to be involved in the linky.

      Morgan x

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  9. A great post and you are right about finding what makes you happy and going for it. I have another couple of years before both my girls are at school, but I'm already thinking about what I'll do.
    Good luck with your writing and with your positive attitude, I bet you will be published in the not too distant future

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    1. Thank you Nichola.

      This post was written more than a year ago and I'm a little closer to finishing. I have found that the research for my story has spurred me on, which is great. I'm looking forward to September, little one starts school full-time and I'll be able to spend more time writing.

      I think finding something that is just for you is really important, it takes you away from the kids and makes you feel like you're achieving something. I have many people ask me if I will go back to work but, for me, it's important for me to be there for the kids if they need me. This way I can have time for me but also dedicate time for the kids too. It's great.

      Thanks for visiting x

      Morgan x

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